7 Months - Christmas with the Kidlets

Christmas Excitement

Well, Christmas is pretty much like every other day for a set of 7-month old twins. They don't know the difference and, if you're as busy as a parent of 7-month old twins, you hardly can tell the difference either. The only way you know it's Christmas is the added pressure to be places with extra boxes and with kids who've hopefully had extra naps to help them stay up later to please the rest of the family.

Well, not entirely true, I guess. If you're the Dad of the twins, you know it's a different sort of day because you're stuck on Christmas Eve putting together the new exersaucer that comes in a hundred-million pieces. It takes you at least an hour and a couple of glasses of wine to get the thing to look right. And, when it does, you're so excited to see their faces when they sit in it, you ask your wife at least 4 times throughout the night if you can wake up the sleeping babies so they could try it out. Finally, at 6:00 am she relents. You joyfully bound out to the nursery, pick up the groggy, confused kidlets, and watch through the camera lens to see and record their reactions.

Yes, Virginia, there is excitement, and a Santa Claus, for adults at Christmastime as well!

6 months 3 weeks - Santa Paws Comes to Town

Santa Paws

We are slowly becoming a family again. My sister Ainsley, who has been taking care of our dog Hayden since we've been "outsed" from our San Francisco home, went on vacation this week. This means that Hayden came down the hill from Tahoe to stay with us! We were very excited! And, wouldn't you know, that Santa Paws arrived at the local pet food store just a few days later - definitely good timing.

So, the girls, already dressed up in winter celebration, Hayden and I wandered down during a break in the rainy weather for a picture with good 'ole Santa Paws. Hayden does really well walking on the side of the stroller. Although she'd like to wander, the stroller is sturdy enough to keep her little jerks contained without derailing the stroller or sending it off-course.

The girls continue to do well with their solids. Bananas are a real treat and Ava has adapted the habit of impersonating a little bird, opening up her mouth super wide when she sees the spoon. Tina is still learning - her tongue, always rolled up all fat and slightly sticking out, still gets in the way. If we can get her to open her mouth wide enough, the rest (pushing the food back and swallowing) is a cinch.

We can hardly believe they are almost 7 months old!!

6 Months 2 Weeks - First Foods

Bettina eats her mush

We'd decided that Ava doesn't like carrots.

We've started on other foods besides rice cereal and began with the orange foods first. Carrots were no good for Ava. She'd eat the cereal instead. She did, however, enjoy sweet potatoes and the pears we fixed yesterday.

I bought a baby food processor so that we could make our own food. It's really handy and I love it even more that the mini cuisinart that I already had as it's smaller and easier to clean.

So far, we're eating just one meal a day - in the afternoon - and only a few foods: rice cereal, sweet potatoes, carrots (well, at least Tina's eating those), and pears. We will add new ones every 4-5 days and watch with interest which ones they like/don't like. Their squished-up faces when they don't like something is really funny and cute.

Some things I didn't know about eating solids that are interesting to note:

• They start out eating only one tablespoon of food per meal. (So small!!)
• Babies should drink between 2-4 oz of water after eating solids to help them digest and also to prevent rotting that may occur if the food just sat there on their gums/teeth.
• Even homemade foods should be used within 2 days or thrown out. Babies tummies are tender, I guess.
• If you make homemade juices, you must pasturize (boil for a couple of minutes) them first before giving it to them.

Soon we will try bananas and avocados. We will see what sort of faces they will make with their introductions.

Stats and Habits at 6 Months

Let the Shopping Begin!

Wouldn't you know that Santa arrived at the Mall 2 days before Thanksgiving this year? Just in enough time to wish Ava and Bettina a happy 6-month anniversary. Well, since the girls were already dressed up for the holidays for our monthly photograph at the Picture People, we decided to sit on Santa's lap, too.

Stats:
Ava - 12 lbs 15.5 ozs (5th percentile of her peers), 16 1/2" head circumfrance (20th percentile), 24 1/2" long (10th percentile)
Bettina - 13 lbs 15.5 ozs (20% of her peers), 16 1/2 head circumfernace (20%), 25 1/2" tall (40%)

Favorite Toys/Games:
Ava - The ladybug and the Tiny Love wind chime on her activity mat, pushing the buttons on the walker
Bettina - They finally enjoy playing with toys and not just looking at them! The Johnny Jump-Up, the Tiny Love Wind Chime on her activity mat, the mobile above the changing table, loves, loves, loves to play peek-a-boo! Almost too big for the swing. The poor swing can't push her side-to-side anymore as she's too heavy for the battery-powered arm. Her favorite toy right now is her feet!

Benchmarks:
They enjoyed their first taste of solid foods (good 'ole rice cereal) the day after Thanksgiving. Because they both have colds, however, the doctor advised that they wait until their colds are over before they continue on a daily basis.

6 Months - Time to Give Thanks

The girls reached their 6th month anniversary 3 days before Thanksgiving. In this spirit, here is a list of all the things I'm thankful for in light of all our changes:

I am thankful for daily facials, which are enjoyed while hovering over the bottle steam sterilizer. Not as glamorous as the spa, but functional on two levels: we clean pores and bottles at the same time! I am thankful for every bath or shower I get during my busy week - both of them. I am blessed with each new spit-up baptism and all the stains on my clothes. I am thankful for machine-washable fabrics. I am thankful to have lost the baby weight (yes, I'm back to pre-pregnancy weight), however, it hasn't changed my habit of wearing my maternity PJs 'cause their just so darned comfortable!

I am thankful for 20 little fingers and 20 little toes. Those two sets of bright eyes and mouths that smile and giggle, bringing sunshine into my soul; God bless them. I am thankful for the countless hours spent on my glider reading stories, singing, and feeding babies.

I can't quite say I'm thankful for the lack of sleep and the numerous night-wakings, but the girls' anticipation and faith that I will solve all their problems by simply walking into the room, makes my heart melt and proud to serve them. I am thankful that God made us so we really could live on minimal sleep for months at a time. I am more thankful, though, that those times are mostly in the past; the girls are now regularly sleeping until morning. I am still thankful, though, that when they do wake up, simply holding them for a minute or two calms them enough to brave the rest of the night on their own.

I am thankful for Baby Bjorns, Podee bottles and activity mats; washing machines and digital cameras. I am thankful for support systems like mommys' groups, twins clubs and best friends. Who could forget Grandmas and Nonnas - their last minute babysitting, cooking and cleaning are true God-sends. Their love and nuturing - to both kids and moms - proves there are angels on earth. Grandpas and Nonnos - bless your marvelment and wonder, the countless hours you hold these babies and sheepishly try to make them more comfortable. Daddies of course are particularly special, eagerly asking about any new developments that he's missed that day while at work "bringing home the bacon." Smiling at the pictures and mocking the babies as they bundle up for bed.

May your blessings and reasons for thanks be equally strong and inspiring. Happy Thankgiving!

5 Months 4 Weeks - A Routine Day

This comic reminds me of the sleep training we just went through. As part of the training, we went cold turkey with the binkies. I think our girls are finally on the downslope of their pacifier addition! (Yea!)

I find that I'm constantly trying to reinforce an established, consistent routine. However, despite my efforts, what I still find is that the only thing consistent thus far, is the inconsistency. "This is the week when I will see their real routine," is the thought that creeps into my head every week. Usually, I'll see glimmers and slivers which are quickly dashed by a loud, diabolic complaint that totally kills the rest of the day!

Truth is, although I know we're making progress, it's still like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. There are constant set-backs and bad days - at least with one of the twins. One has it and the other is the challenge. However, today was one of the rare times we had an exceptional day. Everything went right.

For one thing, both girls went down like angels at 6:30 pm last night. No complaints; no crying. Next, not more than a whimper from either of them until 5:15 am this morning. An uneventful feeding and diaper change followed by a good nap until 7:15 am. This is when Dad gets up and gets ready for work. The girls decide they want to start their day as well. We get dressed and have play time until 9:30 am when I decide it's time to fill them up again with milk; perfect timing - Ava just starts to get cranky at 10:00 am at the end of her feeding. They sleep from 10 to 11:30 and wake up 10 minutes apart (perfect amount of time to change and play with one and get ready for the other). We're in the car by 12 noon to run an errand at Baby Gap and by 1:00 pm we are at the Lafayette Reservoir to meet up with friends Lexi and Merrin for some walking exercise. Ava starts to get a bit fussy right on time (just before 2pm) so, as a short-term fix, I steal Tina's Podee bottle to see if Ava's ready to "learn" to use it. Remarkably, she does!! (Wonderful news! This will make outings even easier in the future). We're home at 2:30 pm and I fill them up again. 3:00 is reading and song time with all 3 of us on the glider and both kids are in bed napping at 3:30, again without complaint. I am amazed! They sleep again for another 1.5 hours and Dad comes in just as they wake up at 5pm. Let's get dinner! On go the Bjorns, in go the babies, and down the street we stroll. We're home by 6pm and I immediately draw their bath. They kick and splash until 6:15 pm and they're in their PJs finishing their final meal with heavy eyes by 6:45 pm. No complaints as they fall asleep and Mommy walks out of the room to a quiet house.... and plenty of time to reflect, celebrate, thank God, write her blog and pray that their "routine" tomorrow looks more like this.

5 Months 3 Weeks - Winterizing

I can't believe that it's November! How did it start getting so cold, dark, and late?? Well, truth is, the Holidays are coming. Better start thinking about what these little girls will need in the next couple of months and make a Christmas List.

Unfortunately, their list will comprise of a lot of necessities, largely, new car seats. Soon, they will have outgrown their infant car seats, which are portable and double as baby carriers, to the ones that stay in the car permanently and face forward instead of backwards. The downside the this benchmark: these kind of car seats are much more expensive than the newborn ones. We're talking practically double the price! (Ouch!)

I've been, again, been doing a lot of research and chatting with other moms in the same place and have learned that the best one for us is probably the Britax Roundabout. Most moms prefer the Britax Marathon, since it can accomodate kids up to 65 lbs, thus potentially lasting longer. However, my guys seem to be on the smaller side of kids their age and probably the Roundabout, which takes kids up to 45 lbs., will do the trick until the booster-chair time comes. Besides, the Roundabout is about $80 less expensive than the Marathon.

The girls will also have crib-mattresses on their Christmas Lists. I will try to find these somehow through the Twins Clubs I'm in and see if I can find them cheaper. Otherwise, those are another big-ticket item. But, they will go great with the new Natart cribs that the girls' grandfather gave them. They are great because, when they're done using them as cribs, they will convert to twin sized beds that they can use until they essentially go to college.

I've also been doing my job shopping the sales for 6-9 mo. warm clothes that we can package up under the tree and use after Christmas. I've also found some nice accessories to help winterize us. I had to get a rain shield for the impending rain, little mini sleeping bags (called bunting) for the stroller so the blankets won't get kicked to the curb in the pouring rain, and some car seat blankets called GoCozy that fit right in - again, so their not dislodged in transport. I think we're pretty ready for winter now.

5 month 2 Weeks - Scary Sleep Training

Boo!! Happy Halloween from "Nay-Nay Girl" (aka Bettina) and "Kitty Cat" (aka Ava)!

Life this week has been very difficult. At last doctor's appointment, we decided that the girls were finally big enough to sleep through the night. The hard part comes in convincing them of this plan. They have been waking about 2 times/night wanting to be comforted with food. Then there was also the 5-6 times they would whimper and complain because their "binkie" had fallen out and they also felt that that comfort was imperative to get back to sleep. All this, of course, infringes on Paul and my (OK, mostly my) sleep patterns. Although we have gone with only 4-6 hours of sleep for the last 7 months (who can sleep when you're very pregnant?), there is much motivation in returning to the "typical" 8 hours. Since physiologically the twins are ready, it's time to start the lovely process fondly referred to as "sleep training."

I've seen my friends go through this; I've read 2 or 3 books about this and have spent many hours in conversations with other moms about their experiences and thoughts. I also consider myself pretty good at seeing the "greater good" of discipline and less likely to get caught up with the emotional "soft" side of any type of training. I was pretty sure that Tina would be a challenge based on her determination and temper. Ava I also thought would take some time based on her addiction to her binkie. However, I was sure that, even though I knew it would be a long, loud process, I was educated and steadfastly prepared for the task. Anyone who feels the same before their experience, please be warned: you're probably not as prepared as you think!

I chose the Ferber Method of sleep training especially because I felt it would take the shortest amount of time and because I felt I had the persistence of character necessary to follow-though with this noisy, cry-it-out method. Paul and I waited until my mom left the house on vacation so that she wouldn't have to hear the learning curve the girls will have to go through. And, per my ped's advice, I also chose to bridge the feeding calls by watering down a couple of ounces so they felt they were getting a full feeding while still cutting down the real food so they could soon sleep without.

Now, I'm not ordinarily the type that relies heavily on doctors. My pediatrician gave me her cell number (yes, her cell - not her pager or after-hours message center) at our first meeting, but I didn't bother to write it down as I was sure that I wouldn't ever have the need to phone her after hours. Boy, did I ever turn needy those first couple of days of sleep training! Your nerves get so shot and their cries so desperate for so long those first couple of days, you really end up doubting yourself. So, here is my suggestion if you happen to try sleep training for yourself:

1. Plan your training for a time when you have extra support (like a husband to help).
2. Plan your training for a time when you will less-likely impact any neighbors or housemates.
3. Have well-established routines for bedtimes/naptimes so the kids can anticipate sleeptime or their "job.".
4. Bone up on your methods. Make sure you're very familiar with all the "what if's" and theories before you get rattled and get the "deer in the headlamp" brain-freeze.
5. Find a "Ferber-Friend"; someone you can call when your nerves are shot, who's been there, done it, and can give you advise you trust. I used my friend Lisa, and she helped A LOT!
6. Call your pediatrician's office for advice - especially if it makes you feel better.
7. Trust the process - It works!
8. Know that it really will get better the more consistent you are. It only took Ava 2 nights; Tina took 3, but her crying was really much lighter by the second. She understood what to expect; she just still consistently complained about it until the 3rd night.
9. Know that they may have to be "re-trained" a number of times later on. Vacations, new furnishings/rooms, time zones, teething, colds, etc. will interfere in their patterns and may cause some reversions. These "re-trains" are much, much milder and are more like blips than earthshattering experiences of before.
10. Be prepared to give and extra-large breakfast to them as a reward. I found this is when my kids when from drinking 4-5 oz at a time to 6-8 oz at a time. Don't underestimate their hunger.

With that, good luck! Paul and I are now getting upwards of 7-hour blocks of sleep (Tina still tries to get us up once around 4am. We try to ignor her off until 5am). Imagine if we went to bed the same time they did - we'd get nearly 10 hours!! What a luxury!

5 months - The Family Celebrates

4 generations

This marks a super-special celebration week: the kids have their 5 month anniversary, my husband and I have our 3-year wedding anniversary, and both he and I celebrate birthdays! The icing on the cake is when Grandpa Dent and Great-Grandma Dent send word they are coming for a visit!

To celebrate their visit (they drove from Washington state and Oregon), I brought out the Picture People coupon and offer (so kindly) to "pay" for a 4-generational family portrait (hey, we're still on a budget!). A good activity to plan with relatives that travel afar and who otherwise have mobility issues with which to contend. We borrowed a wheelchair from the information kiosk at the mall and wheeled Grandma Dent around while we waited for our pictures. She seemed to enjoy it. The picture with just the girls and she also turned out really nice! We had to buy that one too!


3 gens

And, not to leave Grandma out, a few days later, we planned a 3 generational photo (about as far back as we can go on this side) with my mother. Grandma wasn't sold that this was "the" picture she wanted, but she does live a lot closer, so we promised to do another one in time to make her Christmas cards.

The biggest changes in the last month:

• At the last doctor appointment, Ava weighed in at 12lbs 2oz and Tina was 13lbs. We couldn't believe there was less than a pound difference between them! Paul still demands a re-weigh.
• These girls are giggling machines! I can make Ava giggle with just a look. Tina's a tougher customer, but still she'll break a smile and just light up the room!
• They play with toys all the time now. Reaching for toys that dangle and they put everything in their mouths.
• They eat much more in one sitting - 5-6 oz. at a time. Time to switch to the larger 9oz bottles now!

4 Months 3 Weeks - The Podee Bottle

Comparison of The Catepiller from Alice in Wonderland and Tina with the Podee Bottle


Now, personally, I don't see any resemblance at all. Old soul, bald, dressed in blue with a hookah-looking device hanging out of his mouth... Looks nothing like my Tina. (yeah, right!)

These bottles, a great invention by someone knowing the true hearts and minds of a MOM (mother of multiples). Assuming that your "lovie" can produce enough suction to keep a pacifier in, they can also feed themselves without having the motor skills to hold the bottle themselves. You can prop the bottle against them in the stroller, lay it next to them in the car seat, or anywhere your baby likes to eat. Now, I don't recommend this for regular feedings - it's better to hold your baby, their bottle, and coo and bond over eye contact. However, this is really great for those times you're in a pinch: both babies are crying and hungry; they haven't finished feeding and you'd like to throw them into a car seat to go to an appointment; or their fussy and you just need them to make it back to the car/home/crib. Besides being great for a MOM or a mom on the go, they are also credited for being an excellent tool to combat colic and ear infections. What more do I need to say to spark interest?!? The only downside: they're more effort to clean!

They are very popular in England and other parts of Europe, and especially so with other MOMs, but can be found in some specialty baby stores. If you're so inclined, try one out. I think they're great! And, if you don't think twins get enough attention as we walk down the street, try a set of twins sipping on a set of Podees!

4 Months 2 Weeks - Mommy's Molting

4 mo. photo from Button Nose Photography

I started noticing the slight change about 2 weeks ago. Loosened hair would clot the shower drain... more than usual. I initially chalked it up to the fact that I don't get as many showers as I did before nor do I get to brush my hair as often. Thus, more hair would come out during the shower. Oh, no....it's not that.

I'd always learned to expect this natural phenomenon after breastfeeding has ended or when you start your monthly cycles again. At least 3 months from now, anyhow. However, with the equally unexpected return of "Aunt Flo" this last week, it's clear: Mommy's molting!

It's a little known fact, but during pregnancy, women quit shedding their hair. It goes into a "growth only" sort of phase where you don't lose the hair you would on a daily basis. This is quite a luxury for a pregnant lady who feels glorious with her new thick locks. However, all good things must end and, once the hormones start to balance out again, all the hair that would have shedded naturally during the entire 9-10 month pregnancy, 4 times the amount of normal, all starts to come out in bunches. Great! Showers are lovely: loose skin and stretch marks on the belly, and fist-fulls of hair on the floor. Good thing we don't get as many showers now that Baby's here... perhaps we won't notice as much...

Other than that, the girls are doing great. We went up to the Russian River this weekend and rented in a nice house with all of Paul's family. All Ava and Tina's cousins (there are none yet on my side) and her fraternal grandparents. We took up our sea kayak we bought last year just before we learned we were pregnant and had a ball. Here are the photos from the weekend if you're interested.

Paul and I realized, with this being the Columbus Day weekend, that it was a year ago exactly that we found out we were pregnant. We didn't know at the time that they were twins, but suspected since the hormone count was much higher than what they were expecting. The nurse said they were hoping for a number between 50-70. Our count was 215 or something astronomical. Two weeks from today is when we got to see our sonogram and this picture. It seems like much longer than only one-year ago... What miracles they are now!

4 months 1 week - Great New Discoveries

Bettina says, "Yes, I can!"

The girls are gaining more and more independence. Ava can now start to "fist" her pacifier closer to her mouth when it falls out. Both Ava and Tina are now holding their bottles (Tina better than Ava) for about 10+ seconds at a time. Tina gets frustrated when we help correct her angle or when she pushes the nipple a little too hard and it bounces out of her mouth.

Both girls are rolling over from their stomachs to their backs, but haven't gone the other way yet. They are much more attentive and aware of each other, now, and just love to spend time on their activity mat. They are starting to get a sense of cause and effect as they kick or tug on the toys to activate the sounds.

They got their second round of shots and protested immensely. Tina is decidedly larger and within 55% of her peers in weight, 75% in height and 65% in head size. Ava is 25% across the board.

The coolest new discovery: The Baby Brigade Movie Night is an ingenious tool to help new parents have a little fun. The Parkside movie theatre in Oakland plays current newly released movies where the littlest of kidlets are encouraged to attend! Otherwise known as "The Crying Room," the always crowded theatre hosts large couches with restaurant-style food service so couples (or just mommies/daddies) can get out, watch a movie for only $5, and not have to pay for or find a babysitter!! Kids cry every now and again... sometimes it's yours and sometimes it's across the theatre, but the otherwise socially-depraved turn a deaf ear and enjoy a glass of wine, pint o'beer and a chicken quesadilla, swaddle their kids to sleep and enjoy the show. This is going to be a fast routine!!

Another system I've learned to work: Join a gym that has child care! Oakwood Athletic Club is a local gym that I've recently joined. Members get 1 1/2 hours of free childcare a day (with reservation). This is truly icing on the cake. We want to lose the baby-weight anyhow. What further incentive could we need but free childcare! Excellent way to ensure yourself daily shower with a steam bath to boot!! Well, it is more expensive than a 24-Hour, so, maybe it's not "free", but none-the-less, it sure feels good!!

4 Months - One-Third of a Birthday

Can it really be? How did the time fly? More than likely, I’ve just been in a sleep-depraved induced fog; however, the girls are one-third of the way to their first birthday (gasp!). Is this supposed to make me happy or sad? I’m not sure that it’s done either, but it does amaze me.

Milestones in the rear-view mirror:

• Smiling
• Giggling (Tina giggles – still waiting for Ava)
• Head at 45-degree angle while on tummy (Tina still needs more work on this)
• Grabbing (especially Mommy’s hair)
• Kicking their feet like little pistons
• Clasping their hands together
• Standing while holding on to something
• Babbling (one of Ava’s strong points – Tina “stories” are much shorter; more like phrases compared to Ava’s novels)
• Oral fixations - chew on fingers and fists and lick the side of the Baby Bjorn
• Roll over from tummy to back
• Tina’s showing signs of teething (how many bibs can we go through a day?)
• Ava uses stomach muscles to attempt to sit up
  
  Milestones to look forward to:
• Sleeping through the night (this is a big one!)
• Pushing body up with arms while on tummy (mini push-ups)
• Roll over from back to tummy
• Sitting up assisted
• Finding their thumb
  
  Questions to contemplate:
• Should I go back to work part-time?
• When do we introduce solid foods?
• When will they ever start sleeping longer?!! Please, please, please drop at least one night feeding!!!

3 months 3 weeks - Baby Signs

Red Hot Chili Pepper!

OK - this picture has nothing to do with this week's activities, but it sure is cute!

This weekend, I started taking a sign language course with my friend Tiffany's mommys' group. Saturday was the first class so we went around the room, introduced ourselves and told the instructor and group why we'd decided to take the class. It's sort of the chic-chic "thing to do" right now (example: "Meet the Fockers"), so most people said they'd heard it was good for kids' brains, etc. Although I'm sure that there's merit in what they say, I have other reasons that are also practical and personal.

My Aunt Caroline and Uncle Jim were teachers of the deaf and, naturally, learned to sign for their job. They taught their daughters (my cousins Jimee' and Cassidy) even though the whole family had their complete hearing. What I've seen is not only do my cousins know a second language that can be useful around the world (although usually you may be hard-pressed to find someone to "talk" to - it's not like Spanish or something), but the family could talk in ways that mine couldn't.

As a kid, my mom had a special whistle she used when she needed to talk with one of us when we were too far away to speak. My sister and I would respond by dropping what we were doing and running over to her, but we wouldn't know which one of us she needed much less what she needed until we ran all the way over to her. As a kid, it was kind of a bummer to have to leave your fun just to find out what mom wanted and even more disappointing when she didn't even need you, but your sister, in the first place. Spending summers at my aunt and uncle's, they would just sign what they needed, even from an acre away. My cousins would sign back and we could resume our play. In noisy, crowded places, it also came in useful. No one had to raise their voice in order to be heard. Conversely, no one had to know if you were getting chastised or "yelled" at during church service or another quiet place. What a cool thing to be able to make your point without causing a scene!

Paul thinks I'm crazy, but I'm doing it anyhow. Much like absorbing the spoken language, signing needs to be modeled early before the kids can take it into context. But, because their gross motor skills mature faster than all the little muscles in and around their mouths, they should be able to sign back much earlier, say 8 months or so, than actual talking, which comes around 12 months. I think initially, I'll feel silly doing unusual things with my hands, but learning should prove fun, interesting, and, if I'm as good of a teacher as my Aunt and Uncle, quite useful in the coming years.

3 months 2 weeks - Katrina: Come Hell And High Water

It's hard to worry about national disasters when you've got kids as cute as these...


3 mo 2 weeks

They just got these darling ballerina tutus in the mail from Grandma's friend Charlene, and they're adorable. They will play with these for years to come, I'm sure. Completely and serenely unaware of the shocking reality of the true meaning of losing everything.



I watched a lot of CNN this week. I've cried more this week than all the long, exhausting nights of my hormone-enduced motherhood. It hit me hard when news reporter Barbara Starr told the story of General Honore walking up to an exhausted young mother of twin infants. She was so tired from walking, coping, and surviving that her babies were practically falling from her arms - her eyes so glazed over, she could hardly notice. Gen. Honore couldn't ignore it and took that mother and her little babies into his convoy so they could get direct care.

That story was upstaged by Oprah's when she showed 29 newborns who were airlifted from the NICU to other hospitals around the country. Their moms could not go with them - there wasn't enough room. I can't imagine the pain and anxiety of those mothers who had to decide to send their kids to "who-knows-where," not knowing when they would see them or how'd they would get there, once they figured out what to new town they were actually sent. Tears fell every 5 minutes, even though all of them survived the trip.

Yesterday, Tina, Ava and I went through their things. Things they'd either outgrown, never used or really would be more comfort to someone else than us. Brand new pink plush puppies - the softest material you've seen - sent by friends in Las Vegas, other stuffed toys, books and blankets. A hand-knit blanket and extra diapers and hair brushes. 3 bags full.

Then, off to my things and Paul's. Another 3 bags full of clothes that are best used by someone in this type of situation. The girls and I drop off the bags at a local baby store who has volunteered to ship them to the shelters. A whole room full of carefully marked and boxed items with UPS stickers, waiting to be picked up and sent to Houston. I ask if they need voluteers to help package and organize the donations, which are flowing toward the door.

The girls and I will bring our Pack n' Play here tomorrow and help during nap time. With my hands tied up in other responsibilities, like caring for these new little ones, it is one thing I know that we can do. And, every little thing, thought and prayer will help. God bless them all.

3 months, 1 week - Starting to Get Traction

This napping routine has been difficult still to master, especially since Tina has been having a hard time embracing it. She's clearly tired, but needs a lot of down-time and reassurance before she'll drift off. By that time, it's "time" to feed again. I've been conflicted as to whether I should wake her up and stay on the routine or - my selfish self - just let her sleep for an hour (any buy myself a deserved reward of some down-time). I spent the better half of the first week emailing the twins group to hear their advise.

Consensus said to just pretend that she'd slept and continue with the routine. She's also still too young to let her fuss and cry unattended (which made me feel better). So, two more difficult days until a break-through yesterday. Not only did she get some sleep during all 3 of her naps (Ava slept through all 3, per usual), but they both gladly went down at their bed time. By 8:30 pm, my mom and I were watching a movie we'd rented from the video store and I was still able to go to bed by 10:30 pm.

So, we're starting to get some "good" days along with the "challenging" ones. We never know what we'll have when the day starts, but we try to be optimistic! We hope that it's just a few weeks more before they get the swing of it and anticipate the naps as much as they do other things.

Tina - Stats and Habits at 3 months

Bettina Louise 3 mos.

Bettina Louise

• AKA: Tina, Spider-Monkey, Betty Lou, This One, That One, The Other One, Nay-Nay Girl, My Baby Baby
• Known For: immense strenght and determination, a bad temper when hungry or tired, the dimple on her left cheek - same as her Aunt Ainsley and 2nd cousin, Holly, looking cute in hats, needing to be swaddled for naps and bed-time, her startling ability to soil a diaper, being a mama's girl
• Favorite Toy/Game: the wooden stick and knob toy held together by an elastic cord - looks like a molecule model - called a Skwish, her silver bar-bell rattle
• 11 lbs+, including Buddah-belly

Ava - Stats and Habits 3 months

Ava 3 months

Ava Angelina

• AKA: Little Lina, Our Bathing Beauty, This One, That One, The Other One, My First Baby, Muppet, Kitty-Cat
• Known For: chatting and babbling to absolutely anything, having her great-grandmother's cow-lick, her laid-back personality
• Favorite Toy/Game: Watching the ducks turn on her mobile, talking and chatting, watching TV or Baby Einstein videos, flirting and making eye contact with people
• 9 lbs. 7 ozs.

3 month Reflections - The "Have To Have's"

At a recent Mother of Twins New and Expecting Moms gathering, an expectant mom asked what we really found useful in the baby items and what wasn't really necessary to put on the registry. Looking back, here's the list I thought of of items that really came in handy for the 0-3 month age:

• Lots of 4 oz. size bottles - we're talking 2 dozen. Keep in mind we've got twins.
• Bottle steam sterilizer and bottle brush - it's like a mini-dishwasher, but only takes 3 minutes for the cycle rather than 40 minutes. I end up doing like 4-5 cycles a day - I use this way more than I expected to. This is a "have-to-have" item.
• Double Snap and Go - In fact, I wished for awhile I also had a single until I realized you could still use the double while folded in half as a single. Genius!
• Breast pump - far more efficient to feed via bottle and you can delegate visitors to help you out.
• Brest pump converter - converts the "Brand A" breast pump do-dads with the "Brand B" bottles - one less thing you have to wash...
• Swing - my kids actually nap in this! Also, the first thing Ava does when she's put inside is to stare up at the little ducks that, when you push another button, rotate around like a mobile. (They love to watch ducks!)
• Jiggle/Bouncy chair - this will give you at least 15 minutes of quiet time.
• Extra bassinet - great for napping time when one kid might wake up the other. Also handy when you want to have a bed nearby to prevent waking them. The longer you have to walk to put their sleeping bodies down, the more likely they're wake up.
• Baby Bjorn - I don't know why I didn't put this on the top of this list! It definitely needs to be there. I have 3 of these things around the house and I've used all of them even though I have only 2 babies. One's in the wash or forgotten in Paul's car or something. You need to have extras of these around.
• Monitor - first of all, encourages you to sleep in your own room (you'll sleep better - I promise!). Second of all, you're able to respond to their whimpers before they turn to cries which wake them up too much.
• Digital Camera - you'll use this nearly every day!!
• Tons of stretchy swaddling blankets and/or swaddlers - they sleep much more soundly in these.
• Large throws for "tummy time" and outdoor picnics
• For mom - slip on shoes!! (no time for laces or buckles), and need to have read all sleep-habit books before the babies are born. Re-read when needed.

What you Don't Need:

• Stuffed Animals!!
• Too many toys. My girls just started responding to toys within the last couple of weeks. You wonder why you have all these things dangling from your car seats and play mats until they're nearly 3 months old.

Hopefully, this will help you shop for new expecting moms or for yourself, if you're in that category....

Week 12 - Brilliant Benchmarks

I have been wondering how to figure out a napping schedule forever! They have this night routine down pretty good, now, but it's the day time when we need some more stability and a bit of rescuing.

I've posed the question at my New Mom's group and heard that you just find it. Rather vague and un-action oriented advise. One day, the girls will just show you what routine they need. I also written my Mom of Twins group email listserve to see what suggestions they would have since I haven't been "finding" their routine on my own. I desperately want to develop day time napping since I can tell they are overly tired and thus incredibly fussy from noon to about 7pm. I tried the suggestions that came back over the email....which all basically said the same thing: put them down around 9am, noon, and 3pm and see what happens.

Ava and Bettina were happily playing and chattering with me at 9 am the next morning, so it was hard to stop, but I tried it and put them both down in the crib just after 9am. Two sets of eyes stared up at me completely wide awake. I reassured myself that we would try this and walked away convinced I'd have to run back 5 minutes later to their whimpering complaints. Amazingly, within 15 minutes, I had 2 sleeping babies and about 45 minutes of free time!! Elated, I cleaned a load of bottles, put in a load of wash, made the bed and dared to take a shower. Suddenly impressed with myself and my girls, I tried the noon nap as well. Ava napped well after watching ducks dance around her swing. Tina didn't go down as solidly, but did get good quiet time/rest. A 4 o'clock nap also worked well. Why didn't I try this earlier?? This makes having kids so much easier!! You bet I'll try it every day going forward!

The other brilliant benchmark was during their "morning exercises" or, as their grandmother likes to call it, their "boot camp." Just after their nap, when their in a relatively good mood, we practice our "tummy time," which is supposed to build up their neck and back muscles for crawling. Tina doesn't much like tummy time and gets frustrated soon. This week, her frustration motivated her to move around in all the right ways to actually roll over! It came as a big surprise to us. Grandma put her down on her tummy, walked back to the couch, and looked to find she'd already rolled over onto her back. Unsure she did it on her own, we tried it again and watched her roll over a second time all on her own. We will have to be careful where we place her now so she doesn't roll off the furniture. Very exciting progress!!

We are also excited as their 3-month anniversary (can you call it a birthday??) is next week. We have yet to figure out how or if we will do much to celebrate the "big" day. Funny how the months don't match up with the weeks. You'd think that 12 weeks would amount to 3 months, but the months are actually a bit longer. Pretty soon, Tina will be out of her 0-3 month clothes and I'll have to bring some 3-6 mo. clothes out from the garage. I think Ava will still be in them for a bit longer.

Week 11 - All Through the Night

The girls' first (of many, I'm sure) visit to the Picture People - Week 11

One of the first things I yearned for, as a new mom, was that the girls would finally learn to use a pacifier. Tina learned how to comfort herself with one first at about week 6. I was forever grateful that Ava picked it up just before our plane ride to Washington and became quite skilled during our vacation.

I've started to regret that I encouraged and wished them this new skill. Now, whenever their pacifier pops out, it interrupts their slumber and their naps are forever peppered with whimpers and cries until someone comes to help them reconnect with their new-found comfort source. Just after they learned the pacifier, I learned another wish... When will they learn to put it back in themselves! Or, even better, when will they find their thumbs (their thumbs being harder to mis-place)? I may end up regretting this wish as well...

Once they have fallen asleep, though, it seems that we are making quite a bit of progress. This week, Tina gave us that ultimate gift - she slept all through the night! I'll qualify that by saying she went down at 10:30 pm and slept until 6:30 am. Quite amazing!! Ava is still waking up at least once - usually around 3:30 am - and sometimes still twice, but we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel - the promise that so many parents of older twins have assured: you will eventually get a full-night's rest.

One thing we've found, however, is that it's wise to have bottles prepared in advance of Bettina's awakening. Once she's awake, she's very hungry and must be fed right away! Best to have already poured and prepped the bottle; her patience is thin! A small price to pay for 8 hours of sleep.

Week - 10 - Numbers 9 and 10

Ava and Bettina join the ranks of the Great Grandkids

Every year, my dad's side of the family meets during the summer for the Dent/Nelson Family Reunion. We drive from all parts of the west coast to come together for a week (or about a week) to be together, reconnect, and eat lots of food. At the end of the week, we get together as families and sub-group families to show our growth in both numbers and size. There were two new bodies added to the ranks this year - Ava and Tina. Grandma Dent now as 2 more great grandkids in her grandkid photo. Ava and Bettina are numbers 9 and 10 of the group.


Grandma Dent (87 years) and Bettina (10 weeks)

That also means that Tina and Grandma are the youngest and the oldest attendees of the reunion this year. This special pictures is to celebrate that bond unique to this year.


Allie, Ash, Mackinzie hold Ava and Tina

However, we did have lots of little helpers anxious to help hold and soothe the girls. This helped us out a lot and the girls really loved it. Uncle Jack was especially good at soothing Ava as she tended to have terrible tummy aches. He knew just where to hold her so it wouldn't hurt. Cousin Zach was our shy, closet kid lover. At the water slides, he was good at holding Tina and making her smile. That was the other "important" milestone this week -- Ava's first smile happened this week during the reunion. Tina's was the first day into our boat trip. Very rewarding!

Week 9 - Their First Boat Trip

Every since I was a kid... well, back up even further... Ever since my mom was a kid, our family has been taking boat trips. My grandfather, J. Fred Kalbach, being from Seattle, loved the Pacific Northwest and each summer since 195-something, he and my grandmother packed up the family from southern California and headed north to Anacortes, Washington - the gateway to the San Juan Islands. Each year they chartered the same boat - "The Dodger", and spent at least a week - usually 2 - cruising around the San Juans and the Canadian islands just above and beyond. It has been a family icon and focal point ever since. My great-uncle (my grandfather's brother) bought a place on San Juan Island so far back ago that he even got to dub the little cove on which it sits and in which we still watch the orcas surface and play "Kalbach Cove".

As my mother married and developed her own family, the tradition carried on. Our summers growing up consisted on one week at the Dent Family Reunion and at least another aboard The Dodger or another chartered boat hopping from island to island. That's me and my dad pictured below. Must have been either my first or second boat trip.


Boat Trip 1970 or 1971

Well, now it's my turn to carry on the traditon. Fortunately, my father has the San Juan bug so bad after all these years of only visiting, he has run off and moved there and bought himself his own little troller which he's dubbed, Kairos. Paul, the kids and I were honored to be the first overnight guests on Kairos as we spend only 2 days aboard visiting a couple of our favorite harbors: Friday Harbor and Roche Harbor.


Boat Trip - 2005

We didn't see any orca, but we did find a nice grey seal and her pup and the tide was so low out at Spenser Spit that many starfish were visable on the rocks from the deck of the boat. Paul and I also went back to the chapel in Roche Harbor - the place where we got engaged - and took another picture like the one the day of our engagement, but this time it included our little girls. So much as changed since then! The girls did great and slept between the two of us in the aft-cabin state room. They baby-bjorned it most of the time we were on the deck so one little "whoopsy" didn't land them in the chilly waters or the hard decks. Grandpa Dent started Paul on the basic steering and layout of the boat and has encouraged us to take additional Coast Guard classes so that we can continue this long-held tradition by borrowing Kairos and making it another yearly treat. We hope we're able to do so.

Week 8 - The "Unfriendly" Doctor Visit

Our pediatrician, Dr. Gin, warned us the day would come. Last month as we finished up our visit, he reminded us that this was the last "friendly" visit and that the following appointment, the girls were to get their first set of shots. So, we braced ourselves, I prepared in advance by arranging to have a second set of helping hands, a teenaged neighbor earning some summer income, and bravely waited for the check up.

Weight is fine (5th percentile for age, non-adjusted) - length fine (same here) - all growth is going well. The crazy white gunck collecting on Tina's tongue isn't thrush (although later on we found out it was!) and the purple-ish ring around Tina's toe is nothing to worry about. Then the shots.... Screaming bloody murder for about a minute, but by the time we get to the car, all's quiet. "Wow," I thought. "Not too bad."

Not too bad until we made it about 2/3rds of the way home. Then, once again, the stereo sound of wailing and suddenly my teenaged helper is really earning her money and probably regretting that she agreed to help out. I can barely concentrate on writing out my check to her the crying is so loud and I desperately plead with my mother to run to the store for some children's aspirin. Both kids are so upset heat is radiating from their little heads and I quickly undress both to cool them down. Mom comes back in from the store with the aspirin. She is saying something and standing only 10 yards away, but over my darling babies' screams, I can't hear a word of what she's said!

I use every soothing technique I can remember: all the "5 'S's'" from "The Happiest Baby on the Block" simultaneously and stripping myself for the skin-to-skin factor, I also throw one baby over each shoulder and jiggle, shush and stand on my head. About an hour later, it starts to take effect. An hour and a half later, it's just mumbles and complaints; two hours later, just some breathy shutters in between sighs. Finally, three hours later, just before Daddy comes home, the babies fall asleep.

He comes in the door... "How was your visit to the doctor?" he asks. Oh, my!

Week 7 -

Just before my bi-monthly Twins Moms group meeting, I weigh the girls on the baby scale. Ava weighs 7 lbs 10 ozs and Bettina is 8 lbs 5 oz. They are getting so big so fast!

This meeting is always a great resource for learning new ideas and bouncing off ideas or hearing additional solutions to everyday obstacles. There are many expecting moms at the meeting this week. It is almost my turn to introduce myself and my girls as well as my questions of the week and I hear Tina's pants making funny noises as she innocently sucks at her bottle. I figure I might as well attend to the diapering before the attention's on us and I ask one of the expecting moms, who's hands are free, to hold Ava's bottle while I work. As I lay Tina out and start to undress her bottom, an avalanche of mustard yellow goo gushes from all sides and has already shot up her back soaking her outfit. Trying hard not to gasp or otherwise call attention to the mess, I proceed to use all my wipes just so her body and hair stay clean while I remove her formerly cute outfit and put on the spare. A neighbor asks, "Does she need another wipe?" I answer, "I think she needs a bath!"

I do end up finishing the mopping up before everyone else's attention is turned toward our section of the circle and through my questioning learn about another brand of bottle, called Dr. Brown, that some say is even better than Avent for gas and colic prevention. I think I will have to try this one out to see if it helps poor little Ava. I later get a compliment from the expecting mom who held Ava's bottle about how calmly we handled Tina's explosion and mop up. It's all part of being in the trenches!

Ava and I also had an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon this week as the ultrasound that the doctor recommended showed a little bit of wiggly-ness (new invented word). However, he thought there was no need for concern. Just to make sure, he asked that both girls come back when they're 6 months old for an xray to check their bones. He also sent me up to the xray department since part of the initial concern stemmed from my personal history.

The milestone of the week: I have been guessing that Tina was ready to give up a feeding. Each night, it's Ava who wakes up first and Tina doesn't seem want to wake. So, I experimented. I only fed Ava and hoped that Tina would continue sleeping and not wake me up 45 minutes later. My hunch was right. Tina now sleeps through a feeding; we have dropped one of their 2 night feedings. Perhaps the light to a full night's rest is growing nearer?

Week 6 - Independence Day

6 weeks old - 4th of July

Week 5 - Back in the Saddle Again

After a very long absence from the barn, I finally was able to visit my mare! With the break for the required bedrest, it had been 3 months since I'd seen her and I was aching to visit. While Paul humored me and introduced the twins to welcoming friends, I caught a quick ride. Just 15 minutes or so in the arena - and bareback so I didn't "waste" any of my precious time dealing with cumbersome tack, but they were very sweet 15 minutes. Here's a picture of one very happy mother!

Back in the Saddle Again - Ava with Allison & Misty

Afterwards, we drove a little further down the coast to one of our favorite exercise trails. We spend the next couple of hours walking along the trail along the ocean bluff-tops. Very relaxing and we enjoyed the people watching as the beaches and trails were full. It's nice to start including the kids in some of our old routines. Also, a nice way to celebrate their 5th week of being with us! (Happy Birthday, girls!)

Paul & Bettina - At the Beach