Boo!! Happy Halloween from "Nay-Nay Girl" (aka Bettina) and "Kitty Cat" (aka Ava)!
Life this week has been very difficult. At last doctor's appointment, we decided that the girls were finally big enough to sleep through the night. The hard part comes in convincing them of this plan. They have been waking about 2 times/night wanting to be comforted with food. Then there was also the 5-6 times they would whimper and complain because their "binkie" had fallen out and they also felt that that comfort was imperative to get back to sleep. All this, of course, infringes on Paul and my (OK, mostly my) sleep patterns. Although we have gone with only 4-6 hours of sleep for the last 7 months (who can sleep when you're very pregnant?), there is much motivation in returning to the "typical" 8 hours. Since physiologically the twins are ready, it's time to start the lovely process fondly referred to as "sleep training."
I've seen my friends go through this; I've read 2 or 3 books about this and have spent many hours in conversations with other moms about their experiences and thoughts. I also consider myself pretty good at seeing the "greater good" of discipline and less likely to get caught up with the emotional "soft" side of any type of training. I was pretty sure that Tina would be a challenge based on her determination and temper. Ava I also thought would take some time based on her addiction to her binkie. However, I was sure that, even though I knew it would be a long, loud process, I was educated and steadfastly prepared for the task. Anyone who feels the same before their experience, please be warned: you're probably not as prepared as you think!
I chose the Ferber Method of sleep training especially because I felt it would take the shortest amount of time and because I felt I had the persistence of character necessary to follow-though with this noisy, cry-it-out method. Paul and I waited until my mom left the house on vacation so that she wouldn't have to hear the learning curve the girls will have to go through. And, per my ped's advice, I also chose to bridge the feeding calls by watering down a couple of ounces so they felt they were getting a full feeding while still cutting down the real food so they could soon sleep without.
Now, I'm not ordinarily the type that relies heavily on doctors. My pediatrician gave me her cell number (yes, her cell - not her pager or after-hours message center) at our first meeting, but I didn't bother to write it down as I was sure that I wouldn't ever have the need to phone her after hours. Boy, did I ever turn needy those first couple of days of sleep training! Your nerves get so shot and their cries so desperate for so long those first couple of days, you really end up doubting yourself. So, here is my suggestion if you happen to try sleep training for yourself:
- Plan your training for a time when you have extra support (like a husband to help).
- Plan your training for a time when you will less-likely impact any neighbors or housemates.
- Have well-established routines for bedtimes/naptimes so the kids can anticipate sleeptime or their "job.".
- Bone up on your methods. Make sure you're very familiar with all the "what if's" and theories before you get rattled and get the "deer in the headlamp" brain-freeze.
- Find a "Ferber-Friend"; someone you can call when your nerves are shot, who's been there, done it, and can give you advise you trust. I used my friend Lisa, and she helped A LOT!
- Call your pediatrician's office for advice - especially if it makes you feel better.
- Trust the process - It works!
- Know that it really will get better the more consistent you are. It only took Ava 2 nights; Tina took 3, but her crying was really much lighter by the second. She understood what to expect; she just still consistently complained about it until the 3rd night.
- Know that they may have to be "re-trained" a number of times later on. Vacations, new furnishings/rooms, time zones, teething, colds, etc. will interfere in their patterns and may cause some reversions. These "re-trains" are much, much milder and are more like blips than earthshattering experiences of before.
- Be prepared to give and extra-large breakfast to them as a reward. I found this is when my kids when from drinking 4-5 oz at a time to 6-8 oz at a time. Don't underestimate their hunger.
With that, good luck! Paul and I are now getting upwards of 7-hour blocks of sleep (Tina still tries to get us up once around 4am. We try to ignor her off until 5am). Imagine if we went to bed the same time they did - we'd get nearly 10 hours!! What a luxury!
