Funny Article - Dad in the Delivery Room

One of my favorite parenting magazines - the only I read, actually - is "Wondertime." My OB subscribes to it and I look for it as reading material whenever I wait in the office.

This article, Dad in the Delivery Room by Jeff Wagenheim, really caught my attention as I am worried about how Paul - and I, for that matter - are going to handle the upcoming labor. Even though we have kids, we've never had to go through the daunting, active task of labor.

The first exert had me laughing as I envision poor Paul will likely have a similar experience: "He looks around the glaringly lit delivery room and notices that everyone (nurse, doctor, duola, memories of the birthing coach and mom) is doing a job. Except him." The writer likens himself as a participant, but "more like those billionaires who pay their way onto space shuttle flight. It's the journey of a lifetime, but do you think those astronauts let these space tourists take the controls for even a second?" Later, as his wife falls deeper into the animalistic sounds of labor, his mind races again: "He's never seen anyone in this state, much less the woman he loves, and it throws him into his own state of paralyzing horror. His instinct is telling him to fix it, to do whatever a good husband has to do to ease his wife's pain and panic, but he can't. He can't move a muscle. He has to remind himself to breathe."

The good news is that eventually, this writer does blink and find his way out of the headlights. He awkwardly trusts his instincts and figures out how to be comforting and helpful, even if it's just to be leaned upon. To read the whole article (it will have you chuckling), click here. And, oh, send a prayer for poor Paul.

An update on what the doctor found: I'm almost 1 1/2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. Baby Brother is not too big and is low and turned just perfectly as to prevent unnecessary (in my opinion) back labor. "This baby will not likely be late," was her unhelpful answer when I asked when he's coming. I'll probably make the ballet recital on Monday, but we'll have to wait and see if my cousin's wedding is a go. He needs to be born in the next 2-weeks for that to happen.

The Planning Stage

I'm not sure just how much one can plan for birth, but we're at the place where we need to come up with one. I'm getting unbearably slow and lethargic, exasperated by a slight head cold that has me a little congested and constantly battling cotton-mouth. My girlfriend Teresa, who's set to have her planned C-section with boy #2 on June 4th, is also suffering from a slight cold. We jointly marvel at just how much a little ailment slows a pregnant lady down. It just zaps all our energy and leaves us with little to no patience for slow husbands or children.

And even though I've given birth before, there are some things still new to me this time. Take for example all the controversy over plastic these days. I sold my old Avent bottles and will use instead glass bottles. I found from the "new moms" out there, this website that sells tested BPA, PVC and Phthalate-free products. Even the pacifiers are different now. Labor will be another new thing for me. Last time, Bettina got me out of it by being transverse in the womb. Now I have something new to experience - a different kind of delivery and pain. And, there's the "what to do with the existing kids" factor. How DO you plan to go to the hospital when there are others to consider?

The pregnancy books tell us that this is the week we should have our bags packed for the hospital. I'm supposed to review our plan on who to call and where to meet. This book assumes I have no other children for whom to plan, or multiple sets of car seats, etc. And, if the City weren't so full of working moms, I might have more options. However, I've noticed that most City moms don't have time or the inclination to make friends with the stay-at-home types, so neighborhood moms I can rely on are very few -- cut that to zero. So, I have absolutely no plan on who to call or what to do when "the time" comes. Does Paul come to pick me up or to go home watch the kids while we figure something out?

On the "just in case" route, I've interviewed a babysitter that I can rely on when family isn't able to help. Most family work during the work day/week and there are times I will desperately need the extra help - mostly during our hospital stay and the few months following, but I want the girls to be familiar and comfortable with her in advance, so tomorrow is our dry run. We'll go to the park and then I'll disappear to my OB appointment while they continue to play. She's a student at a local college and comes with great twin experience, although that is increasingly unimportant now that the girls are older.

I guess I'll have to stop postponing and start at least a little bag. Probably we'll need to put a book of baby names in there, just in case, as well as a ton of lotions for the many back and foot rubs I will likely be requesting. Paul will have to step it up a notch, though, as I'm quite nervous about the whole pain toleration factor. Hopefully he won't cave under the reality of my discomfort and stare blankly at the wall, avoiding eye contact, while I search for a calm, unnerved soul to soothe me. I hope we are able to complete this VBAC as my recover from my last c-section was much longer and more painful that I expected. I hope to recover much more quickly this time. I'll find out tomorrow how things are progressing. I was 1cm dilated last week. We'll see just how different things are now. And, oh - some good news: the girls' ballet recital was pushed forward a week as the teacher will have a sub for the last class. I'm much more comfortable I'll be able to see it myself now!

What you DON'T Want to See...

This is definately what you don't want to see when you think your child has been innocently napping in your room... I had to email Daddy a heads-up so that he wouldn't yell too much about the lipstick that was embedded in the carpet. Everything else Ava was able to clean up more-or-less easily. She said, "Daddy going to give me a pow..." I think he'd calmed down enough by the time he got home...

A Very Busy Week

A lot has happened in the last 6-days: the girls' 3rd birthday party, the loss of a family pet and indications that the new baby is coming... (Ordinarily, I'd try to write individually about each one of these significant happenings. The energy level at this time, however, has me consolidating. :-)

Firstly, among 15 of the girls' friends and their families, we celebrated the girls' 3rd birthday with pony rides, a petting zoo and a bounce house at a local farm. The girls had a great time and, true to current form, Bettina spent most of her party on horseback. Ava squealed and ran around with Antonio and Dean as well as flirted with "boyfriend" Jon Thomas. I was just glad to be there. I've reached the first of my two goals: to make it their birthday before giving birth to "baby brother." The second goal is to make it to the girls' ballet recital in 2 more weeks. To see the photos of our day at the farm, click here.

The second big event was a very emotional one for me. Hayden - my canine companion for nearly the last 16-years - was finally put to rest this week. It's hard to be sad about losing someone who has had such a wonderful life and lived the hard last months with as much dignity, but nonetheless, she will be sorely missed.

Although we knew it would be coming soon, it happened more quickly that I thought it would. I woke up one morning, consulted with her vet, and before we could let the girls say goodbye (they were taking a nap at the time), she was gone. The girls asked about her before they went to bed that night. And since they've had a little experience loosing people they know this year (with Nonno and my Grandma), I explained that Hayden went to be with Nonno and Grandma. To which they asked, "You mean we can't see her anymore?" "No, darling, you can see Hayden anytime you want to. You just have to close your eyes and think about her and there she'll be - playing in Heaven." The next day, we were walking to the car from a play group and I noticed that Ava was walking (holding on to the stroller with one hand) with her eyes tightly closed. "Ava," I told her, "why are you walking with your eyes closed? You might trip if you're not careful." Her reply was another one of those poignant moments that prove just how wonderful children are: "I'm watching Hayden. She's playing with Jesus." "Does she look happy, Ava?" "Yeah - she's playing with Jesus." I just love my kids...

Lastly, I had my now weekly appointment with my OB/GYN to check on "Baby Brother" today. I'm at 36 weeks and told Paul this morning that I wouldn't be surprised if I was a little effaced since I've started having some pain with my contractions. Turns out, I'm 1cm dilated. Nothing to be worried about; the doctor says she's fairly certain nothing will happen - at least in the next week. Let's hope not - I still want to see the girls' ballet recital! He's doing well, though and continues to drop even a little bit more than last week.

Plie' and Stretch....

"Plie' and stretch...." Bettina kept repeating this all throughout dinner tonight. It was ballet class earlier today and I'm guessing they learned how to plie'. I so can't wait until their recital to see all that they've been learning!

45 Inches and Growing

Now, those of you who know me, know that my boobs don't usually look small.... Compared to my belly, however, I'm looking more average. I keep thinking I'm huge and I still have 6-more weeks to go. However, "huge" is a relative term. This time last pregnancy, I was at 47 inches - 2-more than I am now; that serves as some consolation. "Baby" has dropped and his back is settled in my right hip, his butt under my ribcage and his feet regularly kick my left side. I have gained about 23 pounds, which is nearly half of what I picked up this time last pregnancy. I'm feeling pretty good aside from the giant boulder that continues to harden at whim and make it uncomfortable to move or twist with ease. I'll be OK so long as I make it past the girls' birthday party this weekend.

The Pre-Birthday Party

The girls had a pre-birthday party with their friends Kaitlyn and Krista who are about 1-month older than they are. Kaitlyn and Krista's mommy and I were acquaintance friends from high school. Now we enjoy getting together often as we continue to have much in common. Since they couldn't make the girls' birthday party this weekend, we celebrated at a local ice cream shop (which was the place of my first job at 13 1/2 years old) a bit early.

Nothing like party hats, ice cream and girlfriends to start off the birthday week just right! The girls all enjoyed noise makers, presents and pink ice cream. Ava and Bettina really loved their new purses and lip gloss. We have to monitor Ava, however, because she likes to not only roll the lip gloss on her lips, but on her face, legs and toes as well. If I'm not careful, the whole car will quickly be shiny and smell of watermelon!

Grandpa and his Grandkids

Grandpa recently came out to visit. Here he is with all three of his grandkids: Bettina, Braxton and Ava.