Funny Article - Dad in the Delivery Room

One of my favorite parenting magazines - the only I read, actually - is "Wondertime." My OB subscribes to it and I look for it as reading material whenever I wait in the office.

This article, Dad in the Delivery Room by Jeff Wagenheim, really caught my attention as I am worried about how Paul - and I, for that matter - are going to handle the upcoming labor. Even though we have kids, we've never had to go through the daunting, active task of labor.

The first exert had me laughing as I envision poor Paul will likely have a similar experience: "He looks around the glaringly lit delivery room and notices that everyone (nurse, doctor, duola, memories of the birthing coach and mom) is doing a job. Except him." The writer likens himself as a participant, but "more like those billionaires who pay their way onto space shuttle flight. It's the journey of a lifetime, but do you think those astronauts let these space tourists take the controls for even a second?" Later, as his wife falls deeper into the animalistic sounds of labor, his mind races again: "He's never seen anyone in this state, much less the woman he loves, and it throws him into his own state of paralyzing horror. His instinct is telling him to fix it, to do whatever a good husband has to do to ease his wife's pain and panic, but he can't. He can't move a muscle. He has to remind himself to breathe."

The good news is that eventually, this writer does blink and find his way out of the headlights. He awkwardly trusts his instincts and figures out how to be comforting and helpful, even if it's just to be leaned upon. To read the whole article (it will have you chuckling), click here. And, oh, send a prayer for poor Paul.

An update on what the doctor found: I'm almost 1 1/2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. Baby Brother is not too big and is low and turned just perfectly as to prevent unnecessary (in my opinion) back labor. "This baby will not likely be late," was her unhelpful answer when I asked when he's coming. I'll probably make the ballet recital on Monday, but we'll have to wait and see if my cousin's wedding is a go. He needs to be born in the next 2-weeks for that to happen.

The Planning Stage

I'm not sure just how much one can plan for birth, but we're at the place where we need to come up with one. I'm getting unbearably slow and lethargic, exasperated by a slight head cold that has me a little congested and constantly battling cotton-mouth. My girlfriend Teresa, who's set to have her planned C-section with boy #2 on June 4th, is also suffering from a slight cold. We jointly marvel at just how much a little ailment slows a pregnant lady down. It just zaps all our energy and leaves us with little to no patience for slow husbands or children.

And even though I've given birth before, there are some things still new to me this time. Take for example all the controversy over plastic these days. I sold my old Avent bottles and will use instead glass bottles. I found from the "new moms" out there, this website that sells tested BPA, PVC and Phthalate-free products. Even the pacifiers are different now. Labor will be another new thing for me. Last time, Bettina got me out of it by being transverse in the womb. Now I have something new to experience - a different kind of delivery and pain. And, there's the "what to do with the existing kids" factor. How DO you plan to go to the hospital when there are others to consider?

The pregnancy books tell us that this is the week we should have our bags packed for the hospital. I'm supposed to review our plan on who to call and where to meet. This book assumes I have no other children for whom to plan, or multiple sets of car seats, etc. And, if the City weren't so full of working moms, I might have more options. However, I've noticed that most City moms don't have time or the inclination to make friends with the stay-at-home types, so neighborhood moms I can rely on are very few -- cut that to zero. So, I have absolutely no plan on who to call or what to do when "the time" comes. Does Paul come to pick me up or to go home watch the kids while we figure something out?

On the "just in case" route, I've interviewed a babysitter that I can rely on when family isn't able to help. Most family work during the work day/week and there are times I will desperately need the extra help - mostly during our hospital stay and the few months following, but I want the girls to be familiar and comfortable with her in advance, so tomorrow is our dry run. We'll go to the park and then I'll disappear to my OB appointment while they continue to play. She's a student at a local college and comes with great twin experience, although that is increasingly unimportant now that the girls are older.

I guess I'll have to stop postponing and start at least a little bag. Probably we'll need to put a book of baby names in there, just in case, as well as a ton of lotions for the many back and foot rubs I will likely be requesting. Paul will have to step it up a notch, though, as I'm quite nervous about the whole pain toleration factor. Hopefully he won't cave under the reality of my discomfort and stare blankly at the wall, avoiding eye contact, while I search for a calm, unnerved soul to soothe me. I hope we are able to complete this VBAC as my recover from my last c-section was much longer and more painful that I expected. I hope to recover much more quickly this time. I'll find out tomorrow how things are progressing. I was 1cm dilated last week. We'll see just how different things are now. And, oh - some good news: the girls' ballet recital was pushed forward a week as the teacher will have a sub for the last class. I'm much more comfortable I'll be able to see it myself now!

What you DON'T Want to See...

This is definately what you don't want to see when you think your child has been innocently napping in your room... I had to email Daddy a heads-up so that he wouldn't yell too much about the lipstick that was embedded in the carpet. Everything else Ava was able to clean up more-or-less easily. She said, "Daddy going to give me a pow..." I think he'd calmed down enough by the time he got home...

A Very Busy Week

A lot has happened in the last 6-days: the girls' 3rd birthday party, the loss of a family pet and indications that the new baby is coming... (Ordinarily, I'd try to write individually about each one of these significant happenings. The energy level at this time, however, has me consolidating. :-)

Firstly, among 15 of the girls' friends and their families, we celebrated the girls' 3rd birthday with pony rides, a petting zoo and a bounce house at a local farm. The girls had a great time and, true to current form, Bettina spent most of her party on horseback. Ava squealed and ran around with Antonio and Dean as well as flirted with "boyfriend" Jon Thomas. I was just glad to be there. I've reached the first of my two goals: to make it their birthday before giving birth to "baby brother." The second goal is to make it to the girls' ballet recital in 2 more weeks. To see the photos of our day at the farm, click here.

The second big event was a very emotional one for me. Hayden - my canine companion for nearly the last 16-years - was finally put to rest this week. It's hard to be sad about losing someone who has had such a wonderful life and lived the hard last months with as much dignity, but nonetheless, she will be sorely missed.

Although we knew it would be coming soon, it happened more quickly that I thought it would. I woke up one morning, consulted with her vet, and before we could let the girls say goodbye (they were taking a nap at the time), she was gone. The girls asked about her before they went to bed that night. And since they've had a little experience loosing people they know this year (with Nonno and my Grandma), I explained that Hayden went to be with Nonno and Grandma. To which they asked, "You mean we can't see her anymore?" "No, darling, you can see Hayden anytime you want to. You just have to close your eyes and think about her and there she'll be - playing in Heaven." The next day, we were walking to the car from a play group and I noticed that Ava was walking (holding on to the stroller with one hand) with her eyes tightly closed. "Ava," I told her, "why are you walking with your eyes closed? You might trip if you're not careful." Her reply was another one of those poignant moments that prove just how wonderful children are: "I'm watching Hayden. She's playing with Jesus." "Does she look happy, Ava?" "Yeah - she's playing with Jesus." I just love my kids...

Lastly, I had my now weekly appointment with my OB/GYN to check on "Baby Brother" today. I'm at 36 weeks and told Paul this morning that I wouldn't be surprised if I was a little effaced since I've started having some pain with my contractions. Turns out, I'm 1cm dilated. Nothing to be worried about; the doctor says she's fairly certain nothing will happen - at least in the next week. Let's hope not - I still want to see the girls' ballet recital! He's doing well, though and continues to drop even a little bit more than last week.

Plie' and Stretch....

"Plie' and stretch...." Bettina kept repeating this all throughout dinner tonight. It was ballet class earlier today and I'm guessing they learned how to plie'. I so can't wait until their recital to see all that they've been learning!

45 Inches and Growing

Now, those of you who know me, know that my boobs don't usually look small.... Compared to my belly, however, I'm looking more average. I keep thinking I'm huge and I still have 6-more weeks to go. However, "huge" is a relative term. This time last pregnancy, I was at 47 inches - 2-more than I am now; that serves as some consolation. "Baby" has dropped and his back is settled in my right hip, his butt under my ribcage and his feet regularly kick my left side. I have gained about 23 pounds, which is nearly half of what I picked up this time last pregnancy. I'm feeling pretty good aside from the giant boulder that continues to harden at whim and make it uncomfortable to move or twist with ease. I'll be OK so long as I make it past the girls' birthday party this weekend.

The Pre-Birthday Party

The girls had a pre-birthday party with their friends Kaitlyn and Krista who are about 1-month older than they are. Kaitlyn and Krista's mommy and I were acquaintance friends from high school. Now we enjoy getting together often as we continue to have much in common. Since they couldn't make the girls' birthday party this weekend, we celebrated at a local ice cream shop (which was the place of my first job at 13 1/2 years old) a bit early.

Nothing like party hats, ice cream and girlfriends to start off the birthday week just right! The girls all enjoyed noise makers, presents and pink ice cream. Ava and Bettina really loved their new purses and lip gloss. We have to monitor Ava, however, because she likes to not only roll the lip gloss on her lips, but on her face, legs and toes as well. If I'm not careful, the whole car will quickly be shiny and smell of watermelon!

Grandpa and his Grandkids

Grandpa recently came out to visit. Here he is with all three of his grandkids: Bettina, Braxton and Ava.

The Girls' First Day of Ballet Class

Grandma's present to the girls for their 3rd birthday was new pink tights, new pink ballet slippers and 6-weeks of ballet classes! The girls were ecstatic!! They couldn't wait until their first lesson asking every day when their ballet class would be. Finally, the day came when one morning I could tell them that their ballet class was today. I thought this would quell their insistent questions. However, it just continued to frustrate them because they had to wait until after breakfast, then after getting dressed, after driving to Grandma's and then until after lunch. Even Dad was excited - he called about a half-hour before class to see if the girls had already had their class.

When we arrived at class and got to take out their ballet slippers, they had never been so proud! Along with another 7 kids or so, they lined up outside the classroom in their new shoes waiting for the doors to open and reveal a room full of mirrors and their new teacher. I soon realized that most of these kids were already familiar to the teacher - she knew them by name. There were only 3 or 4 kids completely new to ballet. I also quickly realized that moms are expected to wait outside and can't watch their little girls skip, sachet or twirl around -- I started to panic wondering if the girls would be OK with that. I didn't warn them about it. Miss Jenny said that parents could watch the first 5-minutes, but then she hoped we would quietly leave and wait outside for the remaining half-hour.

I must say, it was disappointing for me listening to the pretty music and hearing Miss Jenny call out my kids' names and then give compliments without being able to see it for myself. The upside: the kids do a dance recital on their last day. I guess the girls' progress will remain a surprise to everyone: Dad, Grandma and me up until then.

Here are two videos: one during class and the second is Ava teaching Mommy how to do first position.

Wonderful Weightlessness

The weather has been absolutely warm and blessed lately. So much so, that it demands that we start out the swimming season. Today we met playmates "Auntie" Tiffany and her son Dean at the pool at Roberts Regional Park for a nice swim. The sun was wonderful, but even better was the incredible weightlessness that the water allows a very pregnant woman - temporary relief from the anchor that is constantly pulling one forward and down and reminding me of what my body used to be.

I'm going to have to get the girls new swim suits (theirs are still from last summer and are 2 and even 3 sizes too small now) because the weightlessness - even though temporary - is just too much to resist.

Bugs in Art

Ava & Bettina have been studying bugs in school. As I've mentioned before, they attend a Reggio Emilia style school where long-term child-centered projects are the curriculum. This bug project started when a way-ward cricket entered their classroom. It then morphed to include leaf-hoppers, ants, beetles, centipedes (which they find and explore during outdoor bug-hunts) and, most recently, caterpillars and butterflies. As an ex-educator, I find myself in wonder and amazement when certain little benchmarks begin to show themselves in the girls. This week, not only did the girls continue to wonder, explore and talk about bugs after leaving school, but their drawings have started to change and grow as well.

Up until now, their drawings or art have just been lines, colors and sometimes, circles. This is usually called the "scribbler" stage (how profound, right?). Ava, usually more developed with fine-motor skills, has started drawing letters (namely "A", "H" and "X"), which is great and pretty well into the later part of the scribbler stage of drawing. They floored me, however, when, after drawing on the drawing boards before bed, Ava insisted on showing me her drawing. "It's a bug," she said. Sure enough, there was a round body with lots of legs extending from (and through) it and a set of eyes, a nose, a smile and the all-important belly-button. "My, Lord," I think, "she's starting the 'schematic' stage!" I am astonished and likewise upset that it's wasn't permanently fixed to paper. So, I ask if we could take a picture of it.

Bettina likes the attention that Ava and her bug are getting and decides to draw her own. "Mommy, look - it's an ant!" she says, showing me her drawing board. It's pretty darned good as well. We take lots of pictures and praise their growth in drawing and art.

Tuesday's Special

We've found a new favorite activity with Grandma on Tuesdays.

Tuesday just happens to be "Twofer Tuesdays" at Cold Stone Creamery. So, if you buy one kids sized ice cream, you get another free! We found this out by accident, but it has gotten our attention, and now, almost every Tuesday, Grandma comes with Mommy to pick up the kids from pre-school and then we all go out for ice cream.

Ava's already decided her favorite is "blue" ice cream. She's also discovered she doesn't like gummy bears - only rainbow sprinkles. Bettina always goes for the same as well - her niche is pink ice cream with rainbow sprinkles.

Today, Ava tried pink ice cream as well. The one she chose was watermelon sorbet, which was different than Bettina's traditional strawberry. Ava decided that Bettina should try her watermelon and see how the "pinks" can taste different from each other.

Cousins Picnic

It had been awhile since all of us cousins had gotten together. Since last year, there's been a population boom -- here are 3 of the 4 new babies (the other one is on the East Coast). But, here's a look at what we've added to the family name in the last 3.5 years....six new babies (with another 2 outstanding) and another one in the "oven."

We met in Sacramento at a picnic area in the triangle of three toddler attractions: Fairytale Town, the Sacramento Zoo and Thunderville. Most of us went to Fairytale Town after our potluck picnic. More pictures of our fun-filled day can be found here.

Tahoe Bliss

Just to balance our week, here's a look at some of the fun we had before the stomach flu afflicted our house. More pictures can be seen by clicking here.

Sick

When a child gets sick, especially a little one, it is usually at least disruptive. Our recent ordeal with being sick, however, just absolutely sent the whole family in a tail-spin and through the wringer! It all started with a lovely vacation to the snow...

Along with my mom, Paul's sisters, and a cousin and their families, a total of about 20 people, we trekked up to a rented cabin near my sister's place in Tahoe. A weekend filled with the promise of bonding with family and frolicking in the snow - something Ava in particular had been requesting since mid-January. One slight concern: my sister had just recovered from the stomach flu. Our remedy was to just not visit her for 24-hours.

The weather was great! Snow flurries gave the kids the essence and excitement of magic while it was still too little to prove any inconvenience for driving or shoveling. Our cabin had snow up to the 2nd story balcony, so with just a quick hop out of the family room, kids and dads (bigger kids) were quickly enjoying making snowballs and sledding down little bunny hills. All was wonderful for the first 36-hours.

Then, in the middle of Saturday night, Ava woke up saying her tummy hurt and quickly started to get sick. "Must have been the chocolate you let her have," my husband tells me. "Must have been all the sledding with no nap," I think as we argue and pull off bedsheets, trying frantically to clean up. Fifteen minutes later, she's at it again. Ah! It's clearly neither. It's Aunt Ainsley's stomach flu!! Poor Ava is up every 40-minutes all night long. Finally, at around 6am, she sleeps. The upside to the night is that she's become an expert of where to put the "yuckies" when they come. This is good, especially considering that our rental didn't come with spare bed sheets. We've gone through all the bed sheets on the bed as well as all the spare towels from the bathroom. I had to do 2-loads of laundry during the night.

All seems well for the car ride home. However, for some strange reason, I'm getting all sorts of Braxton-Hicks contractions. They arrive every 3-5 minutes, so I call the on-call nurse. I'm instructed to lie down when we get home, drink lots of water, and count contractions for an hour. "Don't get up," she says. Paul busily unpacks while I lay down and count. About 45-minutes into my hour, Ava comes in. "My bee-boo hurts again, Mommy," Ava says. I call for Paul, hoping he can take her to the bathroom. He's not listening. I tell Ava to find Daddy. She goes halfway down the hall and comes back again to throw up all over me and the bed. Oh, man. So much for my hour. I strip the bed, myself and her and start another 2-loads of laundry, hoping that everything will be clean before we go to sleep. After a second hour of counting, the contractions get better, but aren't quiet enough for the nurse who instructs me to check into OB Emergency at the hospital for observation. They continue to lighten at the hospital and they release me, telling me to call my doctor in the morning for more instructions.

I go home, dog tired, and crawl into bed, praying that Ava is done with her sickness. Seems to be only a 6-8 hour thing. I call the doctor's office in the morning and they ask I come in tomorrow for a fetal Fibronetrin test (fFN). I switch gears and after unpacking from the trip, start lunch for the girls. Bettina is slow to the kitchen and is sort of mopily wandering around the table complaining that she's not hungry. She starts holding her tummy and whining and it's all the sudden very clear -- I pick her up, almost soon enough, and throw her over the kitchen sink. Round #2 starts with Bettina. She continues until just after Daddy gets home. No one eats much of a dinner and we all go to bed early.

Life seems calm until I wake up suddenly at 3am. If the last thing I wanted was to get the stomach flu being 8-months pregnant, well, too bad. I'm up all night and well into the morning. I call the doctor to see if they still want me to come in now that I'm sick and probably contagious. Yes, they answer - it's very important. Paul tries his best to stay at home more today and bounces in and out of the house and the office. He bounces in again in time to let his mother in to take care of the girls while I go to the doctor's. I'm glad he's there since, while brushing my teeth, I found I suddenly needed to spend more time next to the toilet.

Miserably, I make my way to the doctor's. Unfortunately, I find that my doctor has just been called to the hospital with not one, but three patients who need her. Who knows when she'll come back. The receptionist says she'll put me in with another doctor. Even though I remind her I'm sick and ask to be put at the top of the list, I watch 4 other people get called into exam rooms. It's been an hour. Finally, after threatening to leave to come back another day, I'm ushered in to meet a new doctor. She gives me the test but shows concern about my urine sample -- too much protein which means my kidneys are compromised. After ruling out pre-clampsia, she decides I might be really dehydrated and sends me down for more tests fearing I might have to be hospitalized over-night. She'll call me in a few hours with the results and to tell me whether or not I'm hospital-bound.

Well, I didn't get the call from her last night, so I stayed home. We all slept well. The new doctor did call this morning with the results. She said, "Well, the tests came back worse that I thought. Had I talked to you last night, we definitely would have admitted you to the hospital." She then wanted me to come in for an IV bag of fluids until I convinced her I hadn't been sick since and would likely come out normal very soon.

So, three and a half days later, we're starting to rebound. Now it's to attend to all the gorcery shopping, house cleaning and laundry that's been ignored throughout. A spring cleaning of sorts. Glad it's all in the rear-view mirror!!

Easter Games

Ava & Bettina que up for the Easter Egg Hunt with friends Dean, Francesca and Merrin.

March Madness - The Pre-School Game

It's March Madness time again....and it has nothing to do with basketball.

This happened to me last year and I thought that, even though I missed the boat for last time, I was set up pretty well for this go-around. Last March, knowing nothing about the process, I decided to start looking around for a pre-school for the girls, just in case. Well, by mid-March, everyone is full for the September-June school year. Apparently, pre-school sign up are usually sometime in early February. So, I ended up putting myself - or the girls, rather - on the waiting lists of two different schools that I liked. Each time you put yourself on a waiting list, it costs money, too. To increase my odds, I even joined a new church in the hopes that it would elevate my status enough to be guaranteed a spot for the '08-09 year. Not wanting to "lose" a spot or waste the registration fee I had to put down, I met with our #1 choice a couple of times, trying my best to schmooze while simultaneously not seeming over-bearing. It dawned on me last week that I was supposed to have heard from them over two-weeks ago whether or not our spots on the waiting list would be elevated to guaranteed positions. Humm... better check into this... Phone call in hasn't yet returned and throws me into a panic. "What if we don't get in??"

After a few days, I start calling our second choice. "You're in luck! Today was the deadline for registration for priority members (ie, church members). There's still room before we open it up to the general public, but you need to come in now." And it's not entirely ideal as their Fridays are full. I was hoping to have the girls start 3-days a week. Number 2 choice is more economic, but it's a also commute. Not sure I want to commit to commuting the girls knowing that I'll also have a new baby who's schedule will change dramatically during that time. As his needs change, it will complicate things profoundly. So, now I'm stuck. Do I spend the money to register at our #2 choice or wait to hear from #1? I call #1, my message a little panicked, and don't get a returned call, again.

On top of all of this, I hear from my mother-in-law that a school I'd originally been interested in has moved from it's previously undesirable location to just a few blocks away from our house. It's an Italian-immersion school which would be great for the girls and nurturing their Italian heritage. So, all the sudden the old #2 is demoted to #3. I call, anxious to hear if they have space. Although we're considered "priority" students since we're Italian and can reinforce the language at home, they're also full. However, we would be #2 and #3 on their waiting list. Yet another school to pay a non-refundable registration fee just to wait on a list.

Well, we need to make a decision. Do I calmly wait to see if school #1 calls us back with the good news that we're guaranteed? Or, do I pay the enrollment for #2, hoping that #1 lets us in - then we just have to eat the $80 enrollment fees? Or, has the #3 school now become our #1 meaning that even if we get into and enroll in #1, we'd still like to wait and enroll at the Italian school. This means that we'd not only eat the waiting list registration fees for all three schools, but would likely eat the enrollment fees for two of them as well. Confused? Mama, mia! And you thought that the basketball brackets were complicated!

Our Baby-Moon on the "Monarch of the Seas"

It's nice to get away, reconnect, and enjoy one last "hurrah" before the added chaos of another newborn. With some encouragement from Grandpa, Paul and I decided to "run away" to Mexico on a short cruise. You certainly can't beat the price - about $100/day all meals and activities included! The food was good, the room very nice and the company, exceptionally balanced. Our dinner mates, a nice couple, Keith & Tracy, from St. Louis and another couple of newlyweds, Vince & Jenny, from San Diego, were great people and the dinner conversation was never slow or boring.
We, of course, called home twice a day to chat with the girls who were whooping it up with Grandpa and Sherry. They would ask, "You still on da' boat?" and then say only, "Oh," when we answered yes. Their schedules and heads were filled with visits to the zoo with their cousin Braxton, other extended family, trips to the park, all-and-all having a great time without us.

Our Own Ice Capades

So, even though Disney's Princesses on Ice is coming to town, we've got something better...

Ever since we went to the zoo in December and saw the ice skating rink, the girls have been asking to go ice skating. A difficult task to do when you're pregnant and have 2 kids to hold up. We needed Daddy's help and finally found the opportunity last week. Yerba Buena Gardens has an ice skating rink we re-discovered and, with cell phone in hand, we called Daddy and asked him if he could get off work early. The begging was intense, especially since their new favorite movie has them laughing hysterically when Bambi tries to walk on the ice with Thumper. How could Daddy resist?

Initially, Daddy wasn't so sure the kids could even walk in their skates, much less stand on the ice. Within 15-minutes, however, the wobbling eased off and their confidence boosted. They leaned heavily on the glass waiting for their turn to go around the ice. So, for an hour and a half, Daddy took turns escorting the girls around and around. They continue to ask when they can go back. This may become another fun family favorite activity!

Week 21

A tummy photo of Baby #3....we're at 21 weeks now. I've dropped a couple of pounds since my last OB appt last month, but that still puts me at +15. Perhaps OK considering I'm a little more than half-way through the pregnancy... Also OK since it's about a fifth of what I put on with the girls!!

Feeling OK, but some days are hard with dizzy spells throughout. Holding kids is tougher as I have to hike them up to sit on the growing ledge. I can still shave my legs, though, so all's well!