Girl Time

Girl Time

Allison likes it when Paul has to move the car for parking -- she gets to cuddle BOTH!

Good Morning! Day 4

Good Morning!

We can't help ourselves... each morning, Paul and I take one girl each for some quality Kangaroo Care - skin-to-skin cuddling! Paul and Tina greet the morning on Day 4.

Twins Close Up

Ava and Tina

Here are close-ups of the twins so you can see their faces. Ava's on the left and Tina's on the right with the hallmark eyebrows!

They prefer to co-sleep and share a bassinette when Daddy and I aren't cuddling them ourselves!

The First Family Photo

Our New Family!

Mommy and Daddy with our precious gifts, Ava Angelina and Bettina "Tina" Louise. The twins are 1 day, actually less than 24 hours, old in this photo.

Mom's First Look

Mom's first look at her babies

Mom becomes "chopped liver" immediately after the twins' birth. Everyone follows the babies down the hall to the nursery while she gets stitched up and placed in the recovery room. Two hours after they're born, she finally gets to see them side-by-side and hold them for herself. Bettina comes first as Ava's blood-sugar was so low she needed an immediate formula feeding. You can see this gave her enough energy to scream and complain!

Mom is still numb from the chest down from the spinal block. She actually got 2 blocks because the 1st one didn't hit the right area in the spine, thus causing her to stay numb up until 3 o'clock am - much longer than usual! What a weird feeling and a scary, but safe, way to feel like a parapaligic.

They're Here!

New Mommy Sleeping

Ava Angelina (formerly "Baby A") and Bettina Louise (formerly "Baby B") arrived on Saturday evening, May 21st, via C-section delivery at 7:04 and 7:05 pm respectively.

Ava was 5 pounds 6 ounces and 18 3/4 inches and Tina was an ounce lighter and a quarter inch longer. Pictures will be forthcoming (the dial-up in the hospital takes forever!).

Both babies were perfectly healthy but had slight problems with blood-sugar levels that require they be on formula first. They are adjusting to breastfeeding, but get very sleepy, as most pre-mature babies do, making supplementation necessary until their strenght is up. We are blessed that they never had to see the NICU and have stayed in the Well-Baby nursery instead when they're not with us.

Ava has Paul's coloring with lots of dark, thick hair. Tina has tinier features and really long fingers and legs like her mom. Even her 2nd toe is longer than her big toe, just like mom!

We will continue to stay in the hospital until Wednesday while mom continues to heal up and babies grow their strenght. We are appreciative of the assistance while we're here. The food, services and staff are excellent and give us a little break in our recooperation as well as a few hours of sleep!! It's like a free night-nanny and we will use it as long as we can! Paul and I wake up and can't wait to see our girls. We get anxious to cuddle skin-to-skin (called "kangaroo care") with them - each of us gets our own to cuddle, too! It's very fun!

Daddy Business

Setting Up Shop

Paul sets up the girls' sleeping quarters - the posh top-of-the-line Pack 'n Play. This thing comes complete with changing table, vibrating floor, sound (music and nature sounds) and lights, and rotating moblie. The girls will be co-sleeping and with living in Gigi's house, it is compact with everything that they should need.

Of course, all dad's need to try to set it up without reading the directions first. This strategy appears to work up until near the end. Lucky for us, he won't ask for directions when lost either -- we never get lost.

Week 35 - Almost Clean & Sober

This week’s meeting with the doctor gives me some comfort from last week’s frustration. The doctor decides that the babies and I are big and healthy enough for delivery. She tells me that, come Saturday, the end of week 35, I can stop taking the terbutaline and wait for the impending labor to start. This is wonderful news to me, especially since it means I no longer need to fantasize over rebellious ways to get it all started! All without even having to admit my conspiracy theories to her – I can rest assured that it was her idea and not my rebellious nature.

So, what should I expect on Saturday when I become “clean & sober?” Well, sometimes labor comes within a couple hours after coming off the drugs; it may also take a week or more. There is no way to really predict, however, from the reaction and the couple of trips to the hospital after some late pills, I’m guessing I’ll learn earlier rather than later. Or maybe that’s just my hope. Regardless, I am glad for the news and become anxious instead thinking about meeting our babies. What color eyes will they have – brown like Daddy's or green like mine? I’m guessing they will have brown hair (since we both have that), but will they also inherit our eyebrows? Will their personalities reflect some of the movements I’ve been feeling throughout this pregnancy with “Baby A” seemingly much more assertive than “Baby B?” And, of course, what in the heck will we finally call them (this is still up in the air and continues to be the main topic and question with dinner guests and visitors)?

Two more days and perhaps we can start answering these questions. Still, a C-section seems to be in order so, when it happens, it will all fall into place quickly. Perhaps my chronicle for Week 36 will be birth announcements!

Oh, the latest stats: Babies' weight is about 6 pounds each. Total weight gain to date for mommy: 51.5 pounds; total girth: 48 inches, just under 20 inches bigger than pre-pregnancy!! (Yeah - it's time!)

Week 34 - The Great Escape!

The Great Escape

The Zoo
We're almost at the end of week 34 now and not a whole lot has changed. My stomach is stretched to the point where it has diminished feeling and sensitivity, giving me insight as to why some never feel an episiotomy when it happens. I hit a wall of frustration Thursday when I was instructed by my stand-in doctor to renew my prescription of the terbutaline for 2 more weeks. Based on conversations with my usual doctor, I was expecting to only have to continue a few more days. I realized just how closely I was counting down those days when I got home and became upset about the difference. I am getting anxious for the next phase of this process (as crazy as it sounds). I've now been on bed-rest for 5 weeks and it's becoming a bore even knowing the chaos that will happen once the two little girls are here.


Poor Paul comes home and, upon asking how my day was, proceeds to watch me fall to tears. Lucky for me, he’s entirely sympathetic and devises a plan to give me some sort of relief - a feeling of getting out and rebelling without really breaking all the rules: a trip to San Francisco Zoo, provided that they have a wheelchair that we can rent to keep me off my feet. His idea encourages me and gives me some “homework” to do the following day (Friday). So, Saturday, we wake up early and I get to take an outing that has nothing to do with doctor appointments or preparing for babies; it was all about me and my sanity – as well as my need to be “naughty.”


It was a nice day with slightly overcast skies, but nice enough to get a little sun and certainly to clear the blues I’d had earlier. We spent a total of 4 hours there, with Paul pushing me around the park, and saw virtually everything there we could. I drank my “freedom” deeply and was grateful for my resourceful wheelchair-chauffer of a husband!
To see more pictures of the zoo outing, click here

What's in a Name?

We'd be interested to hear what you all think... It was the topic of much discussion on Mother's Day.

What names are your favorites for the girls?

What's in a Name?

What are your favorites names for the girls?

Bettina (Tina) Louise - after Allison's Grandma and her twin sister Isabella (Bella) Allyne Mirella (Ella) Allyne - after Paul's mother and Allison's Grandmother Ava Allyne

View Result

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Belly Comparison

Just for fun, I thought it would be interesting to watch the changes in my belly via photos since we first learned of our impending arrivals. Remember, I started off at Week 4 somewhere between 29 and 30 inches at my waist. This week, I'm at 47 inches!! An eighteen-inch difference and still growing!!
Belly Study - Comparison (click week number to view photo)

Week 4
Week 15
Week 18
Week 22
Week 27
Week 32
Week 34

Happy Mothers'-To-Be Day!

One of the sweetest things to happen to me lately was receiving a letter in the mail from a colleague from work. The letter contained a card that read “For the Mother-To-Be” and was my first greeting for a Mothers’ Day. I’m almost there and next year it will be “official.” However, to be fair, I realize that I haven’t experienced the real hard-work part of motherhood. The twins, at this point, are pretty much on cruise control and auto-pilot. There have been some unique lessons and experiences, however, and with this Mothers’-To-Be Day, here are a couple examples that come to mind…
You know you’re a Mother-To-Be when:

1. you only have 2 sleep position options left: the left side and the right side. Both make you sore and are very tiresome!
2. you sleep in 2-hour cycles with a trip to the bathroom in between each one and a trip to the kitchen between every other
3. you feel there’s an anchor pulling you at a 45-degree angle towards the ground
4. you can no longer sit like a lady and skirts are no longer an option unless they reach the ground
5. your entire stomach moves on it’s own and beyond your control
6. your husband can no longer watch you dress without covering his eyes and saying, “Ouch!”
7. you can no longer cut or paint your own toenails
8. your husband has to shave your legs for you
9. it takes strategic planning to get out of the bathtub or out of bed
10. you can no longer reach when you “wipe from the front”
11. you enjoy being barefoot and having your stomach rubbed with lotion
12. you spend most of your internet time searching for deals on baby supplies and preparations
13. when stretch marks make your belly look more like a tortoise shell than actual skin
14. your girth is broader than your husband’s shoulders
15. you’re thankful for sympathy weight because it means you don’t actually catch up to your husband’s weight!
16. you start enjoying the color pink and buy the frilly dresses you swore you’d never consider
17. you’re supposedly at the height of your “femininity,” but nothing you do nor any sound you make seems anything close to feminine.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who are actually mothers and for all the Mothers-To-Be, like me!

Friends of ours who will be celebrating a Mothers’ Day with a new child since Paul and I discovered our pregnancy:
Manny and Mary – Cheyenne born in November
Brad and Holly Ficarra – Jake Bradley born in November
Ken and Kristen Baber – Sonya Chanel born in February
Cameron and Lisa Gallaway – Brynn Bassett born in February
Jon and Melissa Mitchell – Cadence born in March
Ralph and Tiffany Lopez – Dean Walter born in March
Dave and Jill Berg - Spencer born in March
Dave and Becky Cingolani – Ava Margaret born in May
Todd and Suzanne Whyte – Shannon Kathryn born in May (on actual Mothers' Day!)

And the co-Mothers-To-Be celebrants:
Teresa Moss expecting a boy in July
Jennifer Kipp expecting a girl in July
Lois Silva expecting a girl in October
Yahna Boston expecting a baby in November

Week 33 - Some Close Calls

This week brought more activity than usual - a clear sign that my body has been adapting to the terbutiline, making the drug less effective at controlling or softening my contractions. Last week, I only had a handful of contractions per day; now a get a couple dozen.

Last Thursday was our first close call. I awoke in the middle of the night unsure why I was awakened (surprisingly, I didn't have to pee). It didn’t take long before a decently sized contraction came along…and then another, and another. Within 10 minutes, I realized I’d had 4 contractions. A thought left over from my Understanding Preterm Labor class suddenly clicked in: “Hum… maybe I should be timing these.” So, at 2 o’clock in the morning, I turned on the light and started to journal the contractions. I had 12 contractions or so within an hour!! And, they started at 2 minutes apart! Giant red flag (you should call the doctor if you have more than 6/hour and you should go to the hospital if they are regularly 5 minutes apart)! The good news was that sometime in the middle of my tracking, it was time for another pill. About 15-minutes after I took my pill, the contractions visibly started to subside. Soon, I only had one within 20 minutes – totally acceptable and no longer the need to wake up poor Paul and head to the emergency room.

As time continues, the contractions get stronger and last longer; a couple of them actually hurt. I’m beginning to think that these babies are going to come anytime. Sometime on Saturday, I realize that I’ve lost my mucus plug (also called bloody show) – another sign that labor is expected soon. I know I’m seeing the doctor on Monday, so I don’t panic. I’m thinking that 33 weeks is pretty good. So what if the babies come now – it’s not the goal the perintologist had (of 34 weeks), but it’s pretty darned close. I hear all the time of how babies born at this stage are just fine. I go to the doctor’s almost hoping that this week’s the week.

The doctor is not happy with the observations I bring. She’s thinking I’ll need more drugs and is contemplating throwing me into hospitalized bed-rest for a week or so. It’s clear she’s taking this much more seriously than I am and I am shocked at the possible hospital stay! No way do I want to sit in a hospital bed for 2 weeks! No naps in sunspots in the backyard or easy interaction with family and friends. Mint-chip ice cream sandwiches are also hard to come by there.

I’m somehow saved. Her physical exam shows that I’m only 70% effaced and not yet dilating. She thinks I’ll last another week as long as I stay on the drugs and continue the bed-rest at home. If I last a week beyond that (week 35), she’ll take me off the drugs and see what happens – let the babies come if they want to.

Meanwhile, it seems I’ll have to endure a number more of these days. Sleeping in snatches (I can never go more than 2 hours at a time) with my sore sides and hips (from holding my weight during sleep), a bunch of midnight and daytime snacking, struggling to move positions while laying down, and sadly watching the stretch marks grow longer along my belly. I am nearly ready with all the nursery things: the strollers and diaper pails are set up. All the bottles are sterilized and the baby clothes and blankets washed. I’ve pre-ordered the baby announcement card envelopes so they can be addressed and stamped and only need to wait for the details and a picture. Paul is driving around with 2 infant car seats in the back and plans to visit the fire station to ensure they are properly installed (90% of them are not), and Mom is finally taking her cell phone with her – and turning it on! – when she leaves the house. We’re poised and ready, even if we have to wait another 2 weeks.

Oh, the latest stats:
I've gained another 2 pounds, bringing the total gain to 48 pounds.
I've also gained another 2 inches in the belly (as the doctor measures) making it 40. Most full-term moms never get to 36!
"Baby A" is still head down on my left side and "Baby B" has kick-turned so that her head is at "A's" feet and is still transverse.
A C-section birth is still expected.

Week 32 - Still Pregnant!

Week 32

The weekly doctor’s visit proved once again that we’re still on target and doing the right things for the babies. They have shifted a little – with “Baby A” seemingly making her way toward the birth canal. This means that they are no longer nose-to-nose with both heads laying the same direction across my belly. I’ve gained 4 ½ pounds in the last week (a little self-conscious, I reminded the nurse that I had just finished eating lunch and drinking a large lemonade) and my belly is officially larger than most full-term ladies’.

Each baby should be a little over 4 ½ pounds each and about 17”-18”, although those measurements are guesses until the next ultrasound in 2 weeks. We measured my girth again and found that I’ve gained another 1 ½ inches there making it a total of 45 ½” – 16 ½” bigger than I was last September when we started counting. I am now broader in my waist than my husband is in his shoulders! (Scary!)

This week marks the end of our scheduled education classes. The second-half of “Parenting Newborns” is over on Wednesday and is my last excuse to venture into the outside world other than the weekly doctor visits. We are getting more and more serious (I hope) about deciding on names for the girls. As I mentioned before, I am steadfast in naming the younger one “Bettina” but calling her “Tina” for my grandmother – also a twin. This naming process, however, seems to be an on-going battle of wits.

The "Godfather" Shower

Saturday I got another chance to participate in “the outside world” again. I was thrilled not only to be able to get out of the house, but to be in attendance for the wonderful celebration Paul’s sisters had prepared for our babies’ anticipated arrival. It was a typical “Italian” style party – large (about 45 people attended) and with emphasis on family and food. All guests were encouraged to bring their family. An inflatable jump house kept most of the kids active while “too much” beer, wine and food kept the “adult” guests content and busy. Since I was still on bed-rest, I was required to sit in my glider chair, strategically placed next to the presents and cake, with my feet up. It made me feel like The Godfather. People would come in, cross the room to my “Godfather” chair, drop off their gift, give me a hug or a kiss on the cheek, and chat a little bit before moving on to get a glass of wine and some anti-pasta, grilled veggies, or a plate full of other great foods. The only thing missing was the giant gold ring!

This shower was more than a shower – it was a tsunami - a marathon of present-unwrapping where the kids were more than happy to help with the larger ones too big for my lap. The hostesses had arranged an alternative group gift for those who didn’t quite know what to give. It ended up being a huge success. Fifteen or so guests decided to opt into the group gift and were able, with their combined purchasing power, to get nearly all the large ticket items left on our registry – a car seat, 2 extra bases, both our indoor and our outdoor Pack n’ Plays, the breast pump and 12 bottles - a huge help to Paul and me!!

As with most of “Italian”-styled parties, there was no designated end-time. Paul and I finally packed the car, and ourselves, for home shortly after 8pm – 6 hours after the party started - a very full day. It will take me at least 2 days of my upcoming bed-rest and the rest of my stationery to thank everyone! If you’re interested, pictures from that party are available to view clicking here.

Week 31 - Continued Bed-Rest

So, bed-rest is not very glamorous. You would think that being given orders not to do anything but sit in bed and sleep would be a luxury – a sort of exposure to lifestyles of the rich and famous. However, that illusion quickly fades a few hours after your only companion, your husband, leaves for the day. My days were filled on the internet, trying to do something productive: finding christening gowns for the girls, birth announcements, updating my address list, reading my breastfeeding book or checking to make sure my registry was complete. When all that was done, I’d take out a pad of paper and start making lists of things I couldn’t do, but needed to get done so that Paul could do them when he got home. Things he could bring me from around the house to keep me occupied, chores around the house, things with the car, plants that needed watering, checks he should cash, items to fax, etc., etc. So engulfed and satisfied with how productive I was, I was completely surprised that when he did come home from his already long day and had no interest in first making me dinner (I was always starving!) and then immediately jumping into my sometimes 2-3 page “Honey-Do” list. The frustration level on both our ends was very apparent!!

By Day 4 of bed rest, I started noticing fruit flies in the bedroom (I figured they’d come from the bag of lemons my father-in-law brought from his tree 3 days prior that have yet to be unloaded or washed by Paul), an overflowing and ignored laundry pile, a neglected grocery list, bed sheets that needed changing and floors that needed vacuuming among other sure signs of household neglect. With frustration mounting, I ordered the evacuation. Paul’s full-time job plus all the other responsibilities of the house were too much to attend to. Good friend Lisa answered the call and brought the car over, helped me pack myself, some laundry, and the dog, and delivered me to my mother’s.

What would we do without the innate sense of nurturing that mother’s have? She’s been proactive in ensuring I’m hydrated, fed, the laundry’s done by the end of the day and she even goes out to fetch mint chip ice cream sandwiches and string cheese! She’s helped me organize my mail, care for the dog (to which she’s allergic!), and solicits help from neighbors to rearrange furniture for the expected twins. Now Paul’s short list is much shorter and, although he doesn’t get to sleep in his own bed, he does get to relax when he gets home and enjoy some dinner that he didn’t have to make himself. We didn’t expect to move out here this early, but it was clear that bed rest on my own wasn’t the best for me, the babies, or Paul.

So, what do I do with my time? I’ve now figured out how to hook up my computer to the internet here, so that’s still an outlet. BillPay and Netflicks are good new friends. I’ve brought a big blanket out here that I’ll have my mother lie out in the backyard in a sun spot so that I can take a nap with my “C” pillow or throw the ball for Hayden. Friends come by to visit for an hour or so which also helps to break up the day. I also have brought my scrap booking supplies and hope to get through last year’s Australia photos. There are also calls and emails from friends which help me feel more connected to the life I “used to have.”

The good news is that the babies are still growing (along with me – I gained that pound back so I’m at 40 pounds gained again and 44” along the girth). The contractions are still coming, but not like before; only 4/day rather than 6-10/hour. The drugs continue to work, although, since my body is getting used to them, I need to start tapering so that they’ll be more effective. The doctor says I’m still at the same place I was last week, so this coming week will be more of the same. I did, however, get permission for 2 outings: I can attend our “Caring for Newborns” class with Paul (provided he drops me off/picks me up in front so I don’t have to walk much and I prop my feet up on a chair the whole time) and the party that Paul’s sisters are throwing for the girls on Saturday (same stipulations apply). No walking or driving around – just laying down, sitting with feet propped up, unless I’m using the restroom or shower. If we can get away with doing this for another 3 weeks, we reach our goal. And, to use the perintologist’s words, anything beyond that “is gravy!” If we make it longer, we have a scheduled C-section at 10:00 am on June 3rd. Both babies are still transverse making a vaginal delivery unlikely.

Week 30 - Paul Earns Brownie Points

Since I was not allowed out of bed, I couldn’t attend the “Breastfeeding for Multiples” class that I was very much looking forward to attending. I figured if I could get a grip on that whole challenge, it would save me upwards of 6 hours a day once the babies arrived and we both learned the trick to this whole tandem feeding thing. The next best thing to me and Paul attending, I thought, was to have my mother go in my place. After all, she would be with me the majority of the day when Paul wasn’t. So, without argument, Paul picked up his mother-in-law and drove her to the 2 ½ hour class where they talked about mammary glands and milk production and how multiple babies fit into the scene. While my mom took copious notes, I’m sure Paul was daydreaming away, but at least he was there. ‘Atta boy!

And, the Vertict is... Bed-rest

Last day of freedom - at nephew Elio's birthday party

We heard from my OB late last night. The fetal fibronectin test I took yesterday came back positive which means that they did find some of the proteins indicative of pre-term labor. The chance that I would deliver within the next 2 weeks is 25%. That still means there's a 75% chance I won't, but since they still want me pregnant at least another 2 weeks, its drugs and strict bed-rest for me.

Strict bed-rest is much different than the modified bed-rest I was anticipating for the later part of my pregnancy. Whereas with modified you can get out of bed and shower when you want to, make something to eat when you want to, visit with people or drive somewhere, with strict bed-rest, you're not allowed to go anywhere but the bathroom. If the doorbell rings, you're not supposed to answer it. You run out of food or need some more water? You're supposed to ask someone to get it for you even though the kitchen's right there. It's hard to plan for everything you think you're going to want to do for the next 10 hours and have it next to you when your husband leaves for work in the morning.

I do have a book called "The Multiples Manual" that has a whole chapter with ideas of things you can do while on strict bed-rest, since it is more common in twin pregnancies. I hope that their list will keep me busy and productive for at least a little while! (Why didn't I take up knitting??)

I will be tested again on Monday, in week 31 to see if there's any change. Until then, we'll be keeping our fingers crossed that I'll be pregnant for at least a little while longer.

7 Weeks Left - Or So We Hope!!

"Baby B's" footprint - 30 weeks

Monday morning of week 30, Paul and I drive to our ultrasound appointment. The babies are still doing great and continue to grow beyond their benchmarks. Each baby is a little over 3 ½ pounds, which is still about ½ pound above a “normal” singleton pregnancy and way over the benchmark for twins. Above is a cute picture, again in 3-D (which Paul and I have decided we still don’t like), of “Baby B’s” foot (the face ones didn’t come out too well. “A” looks like she has a black eye and “B’s” cord is in front of her face which makes her look like she’s got a huge lower lip. Perhaps they’ve been duking it out while the cameras are off?!). All functions look good and things are great. I asked them to check on my cervix as the last week and a half or so, I’ve been feeling that my contractions may be more than normal and I want to make sure there are no signs of pre-term labor. Good thing I asked…

The perinatologist (doctor who specializes in high-risk or troubled pregnancies) comes in after the ultrasound to say that he’s already paged my OB doctor and that they want to keep me for a couple more tests. The ultrasound shows that my cervix has shortened from 3 cm to 1 ½ cm in the few weeks between appointments. The good news, he says, is that when they put pressure on my uterus, it doesn’t shorten further. However, it looks as though I’ve been having pre-term contractions mixed in with my Braxton-Hicks. He says that, although they can handle the birth of these babies now, it’s very stressful on everyone and he hopes with managing my activities, he can keep them in at least 2 weeks longer, or his goal, 4 weeks more. The rest above that, he says is “gravy.” Wow! Not what Paul and I were expecting.

After meeting with my doctor’s colleague, I’m told to check into OB emergency at the hospital for some tests and monitoring. They want to measure the number and severity of my contractions as well as watch the babies’ heart beats. They put an elastic “girdle” around my belly and stick 3 sensors under it – one for each baby to measure their heart rates and the other to measure contractions. They will watch for an hour total. After about ½ hour, the nurse comes in and says that it looks like I have an irritable uterus (which she says is common for twins) and more contractions than what she’d like to see. After talking to my OB doctor, she gives me a shot of a drug called terbutaline which, although is supposed to make my heart race and make me feel jittery - like I've drunk 2 cups of coffee, is supposed to calm down my uterus and lessen contractions. She says that if the drug is effective on me, I will probably only have to be on bed-rest at home. If it’s not, I’ll be checked into the hospital right away. Oh, gosh! I hope it works.

Fortunately, my body liked the terbutaline and my contractions go down. I can go home as long as I continue taking the drug every 4 hours around the clock. I have to go in tomorrow for another test, called fetal fibronectin, which will try to determine, based on proteins in the birth canal, the likelihood I’ll give birth within the next 2 weeks. If no proteins are present, it means I’ll have a 99% chance of not giving birth within 2 weeks (5 weeks early for twins and 8 weeks before their June due date). If the proteins are present, I have a 25% of birthing within 2 weeks. We are, of course, hoping for a negative result which would decrease my chances of having to go to the hospital or stay on strict bed-rest. We should get the results on Wednesday.

Week 29 - The Progress

Physical Stats: The width of my belly has grown from the pre-pregnancy size of 29 inches to a whopping 44 inches! It has grown 3 inches since my last OB doctors visit 3 weeks ago. The irony: I’ve lost a pound while still gaining the inches. My total weight gain is now 39 pounds. The weight loss although nothing to be concerned about in its own right, my doctor says, shouldn’t happen continually. I get a hall pass to eat more ice cream and try to make up the calories!! Yippee!

My blood pressure is still good and I don’t have any water retention or swelling (yet?), but the doctor’s disappointed that I’m still going to work. I only have 4 more days, though, and she’s OK with that.

The Babies: Still doing well and still both in a transverse position (lying horizontally). “Baby A” is still close enough to the cervix that she could turn head-down – the proper position for a vaginal birth – in the next couple of weeks. Next week’s ultrasound may give us an accurate indication as to which type of birth we should expect. If she’s still transverse, we will schedule a planned C-section. For the first time, the babies have pretty different heart rates: “Baby A” is 145 beats/minute (which has been usual for them both) and “Baby B” is down at 120. Still, there’s nothing to worry about there either.

Education: Paul and I attended the all-day birthing class last weekend and on Wednesday, we took the 3-hour “Preparing for Multiples” class which was taught by the current President of the Marin County Mothers of Multiples group. Both classes were very helpful. A lot of it was reinforcement of what I’ve been reading in the stacks of books near the bed, but was really great I think for Paul to hear. I appreciated the logical, male-oriented way the information was presented. Breaking down obscure medical to tangible visuals or the profound statements into mathematical equations really allowed us to get a better sense of what to expect. Some interesting tid-bits that stood out for us:
Did you know?

• 50% of twins are born prior to week 37 and weight less than 5 pounds 8 ounces.
• The average labor and birth is 16 hours long. (Gasp!) The chance the labor will still force a C-section for twins is 50%.
• Whichever way we start the birthing process, it will happen in the OR just in case surgery is necessary. There will also be about 10 hospital staff in the in the room with Paul and me (2 of everything – OBs, pediatric nurses, neonatologists, pediatricians, etc., and one anesthesiologist). No other guests are allowed (as if they’d fit!).
• Prepare to change 165 diapers a week for a set of twins and spend 12 hours a day breastfeeding (unless you learn to master the double-feeding techniques). This amounts to 16,060 diapers until they’re potty-trained which should add up to about $4,161 over the years.
• With 168 hours in a week, studies have shown that 125 of them are necessary to feed and change a set of newborn twins. This leaves 43 hours/week available to take care of yourself, which breaks down to a bit over 6 hours a day or: ½ hour to shower and dress, 1 ½ hours to prepare and eat all your daily meals, and 4 hours to sleep. (An eye-opener!) The teacher suggesting adopting the following mantra, which she used after the birth of her twin boys: “Don’t cross my threshold without a casserole!” or “All guests must assist you.”
• The divorce rate among parents with multiples is more than twice the national average. Not only do the kids take more work, but so does making time for each other.
  

The good news is that it does get easier after 3 months!

Next week, we take the “Breastfeeding for Multiples” class. I started reading my “Nursing Mother’s Companion” book this week in preparation. When following instructions to check for *problem nipples* (which thankfully I apparently don’t have), I was surprised and, I hate to admit it but, excited to see that I’m already producing colostrum! (I feel so motherly!)

Elbows and Hiccoughs

Bizarre Tremors

Remember the worm-tunnels in that silly 80’s movie, Tremors? The group of young scientists that went out into the desert and discovered these weird giant gopher-looking trails? It takes them until half-way through the movie to figure out what makes them, and, when they do find out, the creatures are totally alien-looking monsters.

That same storyline is taking place on the top of my belly. During the Easter Sunday service, for example, I sat in my pew and looked down at my belly as I feel the all too familiar twitches of baby movement. I wore a silver silk dress my cousin lent me that day and it lay smoothly against my skin. The little lump that was twitching under my skin suddenly started visably traveling a couple inches to the right. I elbowed Paul in enough time for him to see Baby B’s fist make the trip back, like a moving worm-hole, toward my center again at the end her stretch. Kind of an errie occurance to watch – especially at church when you imagine a rebellious exercist baby fighting the sounds of godly hymns and prayer (taking after her Dad, I guess, who squirms through most church services!).

Paul finds these movements a bit unnerving. I’ll put his hand on a hard lump and, at first, he’s curious – he’ll keep it there and wait. But, as soon as the lump starts traveling somewhere or moves up toward him, his “heebie-jeebie” factor becomes too strong. His hand flies off and he’ll mutter something while shaking his head. Sort of like those scientists in the movie Tremors who have this curious, but terrifying experience with their discovery.

I, on the other hand, have become more like Bill Murray in Caddyshack. I’m constantly seeking those hard lumps, trying to figure out where “the gopher” will be next. I’m fascinated, nearly obsessed, trying to figure out what the lump is: a foot, an elbow, a head, a bum? I haven’t got to the point of wanting plastic explosives to get my answer, thank goodness, but the game does intrigue me. It’s easy for me to check up on “Baby B.” “Baby A” is too far under my belly to monitor and she hides much deeper into the insides while “B” likes to lie pretty close to the surface just above my belly button. Keeping my hand on my belly, I’m able to ascertain how she is lying (small lumps are feet or elbows/fists; medium hard lump is her head; large softer lump is her bum) and can feel the rhythmic pattern of her hiccoughs every once in awhile.

Week 27 - Making it to the "Safety Point"

Week 27

Week 27 often is the benchmark that marks when babies in-utero are usually "safe." Although everyone wants the babies to make it until at least 33 weeks or more (keeping in mind that 37 weeks is full term for twins and 40 weeks for singletons), if for some reason they are born now, especially in a hospital with a Level III Newborn ICU (called a NICU - pronounced Nic-U), they have a very good chance (some hospitals will say up to 90% chance) of staying alive. Of course, they will likely stay in the NICU for a long time - perhaps months - which will run about $100,000 per child and may contribute to lifelong complications with respiration (asthma, etc). None-the-less, it is encouraging knowing that, in all likelihood, even under dire circumstances, you may still be able to keep your child/ren.

It is an appropriate time, then, to take your tour of the hospital where you plan to birth. Paul and I made that trip on Wednesday. The timing was also coincidentally appropriate as our friends Ralph and Tiffany were there having just given birth to their son, Dean, the day before. We went to visit them before our tour. Paul was amazed at how small Dean was, although Tiffany was quick to point out that he was considered big at just over 8 pounds. That's almost 4 times what our babies weigh now and will be, if we're lucky, 33% bigger than our babies at full term. Even though I look huge and they feel so big in-utero, it's amazing how little newborns really can be!

Paul and I were impressed with our hospital tour. California Pacific Medical Center (CPMC) has labor and delivery rooms that are by far much larger than fancy hotel rooms. Once you are admitted, you spend your whole labor and delivery in this room. The room comes equipped with TV's, VCR/DVD players, showers, 2 bathrooms, and some even have jet bathtubs (I made a mental note to ask for room #5 - one with a jet tub - should they send me here first). The nurses can bring you balance balls or all kinds of props that are helpful during labor (you don't have to bring your own). The bed is a normal bed with stirrups that can come out during your delivery. They have bassinettes and all sorts of equipment to check the baby right there in the room and, if all goes well, the baby doesn't need to leave the room or the sight of mom & dad at all.

If you birth via planned C-section, however, you don't use those rooms - you go straight to surgery. Not as glamorous of a room, but certainly a faster process. The NICU is located just next to the surgery rooms. A happy, colorful mural, reminiscent of Beatrix Potter illustrations, covers the walls. There were about a dozen babies there in the "clean environment". No visitors but mom and dad and their parents are allowed.

Next we saw the post-partum rooms, where you go about 4 hours after birth. Almost all of these rooms are private. They are sunny, good-sized rooms with a decent pull-out bed for dad. Although the maternity ward nurses are trained to help in breastfeeding, CMPC staffs 10 lactation consultants as they are big believers in breastfeeding. The normal stay for vaginal births is 2 days and for C-sections is 4 days. Regardless on the manner of birth, the hospital treats you to a fancy in-room celebration dinner complete with white linen tablecloth, chocolate torte and rosebud service for your last night. We saw Tiffany and Ralph's dinner set up and it looked pretty darned good!

We start our repotior of birthing, breastfeeding and multiples classes this weekend. We start out with the general birthing class this Saturday. It's an all-day class. Each week until May we have some other class, but the rest are shorter in lenght.

The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy Props

Now that I'm "officially" in the third trimester, and thus sage and wize, I thought I'd pass on a couple of things I’ve learned along the way that would be incredibly helpful if you or someone you know is just starting down this pregnancy road – there are a couple of items that will become your best friends besides your best friends. I’m sure that every girl will have some that are different, but I’ve listed a few I could not, now, ever live without:

1. Get a nice big Nalgene water bottle and keep in full and with you all the time. Hydration is one of my short comings, I’m sure, but, if properly hydrated, one will avoid (or at least suffer less from) many pregnancy maladies (see “Sitz Baths” below) and will also lighten Braxton-Hicks contractions. Note: ease up on the water intake sometime around 7pm so you don’t spend all of what should be your sleeping hours making quick stops to the bathroom.
2. Get a “C”-shaped pregnancy pillow. An ordinary body pillow will not do. If your girlfriend kindly lends you her ordinary straight body pillow, thank her, but invest the $40 and get the “C” shape. This thing will curl around to support your neck & shoulder on the top and your growing belly on the bottom while propping up your hip as it sits between your thighs. This is definitely the most comfortable way I found to sleep. And, if you’re a stomach sleeper like I am, and your shoulders have just “had enough” of side sleeping (they get sore!), try curling your “C” pillow into a doughnut. Stick your belly in the hole and, at least until the 3rd trimester, you can once again sleep comfortably on you stomach.
3. Get a laptop computer. This suggestion was actually given to me at my first OB doctor’s appointment from the doctor herself! Just after the ultrasound and congratulating me on the twins in week 8, she said, “If you don’t have a laptop computer now, get one.” She also suggested wireless internet connection, although we have just been using a really long cable. Our computer thankfully was already a laptop. I was glad because, just based on the pregnancy alone, I doubt that we would have bought one. However, I love the fact that we do have one as it has made all the difference to me allowing me to also be productive (and creative) rather than just watching Oprah on TV.
4. Get a bed-tray. Paul and I got a breakfast-in-bed tray from some friends as a wedding present. I have used this as a computer table as well as a breakfast/dinner table while in bed and it’s been very helpful. The one suggestion I’d make: get a tall one. Ours has perhaps 8 inch legs… this is too short. As your belly grows, you’ll need a taller table. I’ve “made do” by propping the legs up onto the “C” pillow which gets me 4-5 more inches, but doesn’t make the table as steady.
5. Prescriptions: Ask your doctor for prescription pre-natals with stool softeners. Trust me! Take them and your Nalgene bottle with you wherever you go or you might forget. Hopefully, the combination will prevent you from having to use the next suggestion.
6. Inflatable Sitz-Bath: You might be within the 50% of pregnant women that don’t have to deal with this subject. I found out quickly (week 16) that I wasn’t. My first bat with this purposefully un-named issue resulted in necessary out-patient surgery (not fun! In fact, my doctor told me if I can live through that, labor will be a cinch!). Hardly anyone gets it that bad, but the issue returned in a more normal way around week 24. Not wanting it to progress, I became diligent in following all doctor suggestions including Sitz-Baths 3-4 times a day. Filling up and sitting in the bathtub that often became cumbersome and time-consuming. My sister-in-law, who’s involved in physical therapy, told me about these little inflatable toilet-topper Sitz-Baths. After 15-minutes with eBay, I found out just how easy it can be! (Sometimes it’s worth talking about the unmentionables!) Also note: your doctor can also get you prescription-strength topical cream that will help tremendously in this area as well.
7. Get a belly-band. Although this suggestion came from the maternity store, it is not a gimmick – especially if you’re expecting to get very big (like if you’re having twins). A belly band is just a lycra band (which can be purchased in many colors – I got basic black), sort of like a tube top, that fits around your lower belly. It is especially necessary in transitional times (maternity clothes just a little big but regular clothes too small) or with below-the-belly pants. It is very helpful also when your belly is so round that your blouses no longer cover the bottom few inches between your belly-button your pants. It’s a drafty situation, unless, of course, you remember to wear your belly-band. I use mine way more than I expected to.
8. Get the fridge ready. In the middle of the night, you will wake up famished and unable to fall back asleep without a snack. My suggestion: stock the fridge with easy to eat foods. The best snacks are the ones you can eat/make without having to fully wake up. Also, ones that combine carbs with a protein will work the best and last the longest. My favorites: celery sticks or apple slices with peanut butter, yogert ("Gogerts" are ideal as you can still lay sleepily in bed without spilling), cottage cheese on toast, or bagels with cheese.

Spring Showers!

Cake reads: "Diaper Pins, Baby Oil, Two are Coming, For You to Spoil"

Not only was March 20th the first day of spring, a day that brought some rain, and Palm Sunday (when Christians celebrated Jesus's arrival to Jerusalem), but it was also a day we had a celebration in anticipation of the Curletto twins' arrival into the world.

Long-time girlfriends Liz, Lisa, and Jodi hosted a wonderful shower for the twin girls at the Orinda Country Club. We were lucky enough to have all sorts of friends and family attend. The longest traveled was my paternal Grandmother who came from Salem, Oregon. I am number 5 of her 12 grandchildren and the twins will be great-grandkids numbers 9 and 10. Many others drove in excess of one or two hours each way to attend. We were blessed by such active support and love. The twins were truly showered with all sorts of gifts (many of them pink and matching), including 2 handmade quilts which will be made by their Great-Aunt MaryAnn and 2 handmade heart-embedded blankets knit by their maternal Grandma, or "Gigi" as she prefers. Gigi also pulled out an outfit that was received at her baby shower 35 years ago when she was expecting me. A pretty pink jacket and pants set I remember seeing in my baby pictures and using to dress up my little doll "Julie" when I was young. The set brought back many memories!!

In week 26, Braxton-Hicks contractions came more steadily, but still no outrageous cravings or aversions (although I'm never quick to turn down ice cream!). For the first time in my life, my notoriously large chest finally looks small when matched with my big belly! Paul and I laugh at what I would look like if I had "normal" sized-B boobs with my current belly. They'd probably call a police escort to get me to the hospital everytime I touched my belly.

Since the babies are big for their age, we're guessing that they will come earlier, too. I thought it would be nice to have Gemini twins (is that a redundantancy?), but they may end up being Tauruses. We'll see if they can make the May 23rd deadline which will make them twins in two different ways. I've decided that I'll work another week and a couple days, but that's it. I hope the rest of the waiting game will run as smoothly.

Week 25 - Above Average Meetings with the Doctors

Well, the only disappointing thing about week 25 is that the printer at the sonogram appointment was jammed and not working. No pictures in-utero this month, but that might not be a bad thing!

We did learn that the babies are still doing great and are, in fact, quite big in size. The normal singleton (one baby per pregnancy) weights about 1.5 pounds this week and is about 7.5 to 8 inches from crown to rump (top of their head to, well, their rump). Multiple babies are expected to be a bit behind those numbers. Our babies, however, are ahead in their weight, even when compared to a singleton. This time, "Baby B" is the chubba-lub weighing in at 1 pound 13 ounces - which is only 2 ounces more than her sister. So, they are nearly a half-pound more than the average singleton baby each.

This puts me measuring in at where most of my peers would be at week 32. I look 7 weeks (or almost 2 months!) bigger than I really am. I've gained 40 pounds now which has taken form as an increasingly large shelf just below and in between my boobs. Some of my maternity clothes, especially those I got early-on in pregnancy, don't fit me any more. Braxton-Hicks contractions (painless "warm-up" exercises for the uterus) have started and I am also knocked down to just 4-hour maximum work days. As we turn to week 26, we begin to realize that the single-digit week countdown is just around the corner.

Musical Babies

Niece Alisia Plays Music for her Expected Cousins

My cousin Holly lent me a contraption that has helped us lately have a lot of fun. It's a triage of three different microphone/speaker mechanisms which allow you to: 1) listen for the babies' heartbeats, 2) play music for them and 3) talk or read to them.

Paul and I tried listening earlier in the beginning of the 2nd trimester and couldn't hear anything but underwater sounds (which apparently is the sound of ambiotic fluid). It wasn't very interesting. However, on Sunday, Alisia and I took it out again to listen. And, surprise, we did hear the rat-ta-tat-tat sound of at least one of the babies' hearts.

Spurred by excitement, Alisia then took out the microphone and proceeded to introduce each member of the family to them in typical Oprah Winfrey interviewer style. Then she told them the story of the 3 Little Pigs before playing some nice Chopin piano for them.

They are just 25 weeks old today and apparently can hear quite well. We will have to ask them later what they remember about Alisia's introduction to the outside world!

Week 24 - Some Frustrations Develop

I have learned a lot about the limitations of pregnancy this week. I have mostly learned that I am no longer in control. I guess this is part of “motherhood” that I need to start getting used to!

I caught a slight cold last week. No big deal, really, just a little sore throat, slight congestion, and a feeling that I should sleep it off. So, I took a day off of work, mostly to be proactive and, though I felt fine over the weekend, took it easy and slept a lot then too. I went back to work on Monday, a little later than usual since it was the first week that I was to cut back on my hours (again, just a preventive measure to make sure I was being very kind to myself). Monday and Tuesday didn’t feel quite right (dizzy and a bit nauseous), but what really got my attention was mid-week when I couldn’t handle Wednesday’s pre-natal yoga class. I could only do half the stretching before I’d start to feel "off," dizzy and like I should lie down. I even took a break and rested in the bathroom for a couple minutes to give myself a little pep-talk: “You can handle yoga… it’s just stretching and breathing…no big deal and hardly any exertion!” No use. The instructor also noticed I wasn’t feeling well and helped me get comfortable lying down while the rest of the class finished the stretches. I was a little scared and even more embarrassed.

I puzzled rational explanations during the ride back home and Paul was getting concerned as well. By morning, I still felt the same. I figured that I must be anemic (that would explain all the symptoms) and called my doctor who wanted to see me that afternoon. I figured that he’d just give me some iron supplements and, within a couple days, I’d be back to feeling normal again with additional “zip” and energy. After the “one-over,” I was informed I’m not anemic, just a little run-down from the cold and very big. Most women who measure my size, he reminded me, are in their 8th month. Breathing for me is like having a collapsed lung or breathing through a straw. He sent me home with a note excusing me from work (not kidding) for the next day and told me to cut back even further if I didn’t feel 100% by Monday.

Disbelief set in. I’m not ready to cut back any more; it’s too early. I’m already frustrated that I’m having to cut back on all sorts of normal activities: carrying groceries from the car, cleaning the car, lifting my dog into/out of the car (she has bad hips), putting away dishes in the higher shelves, etc. I can’t reach my sweater shelf anymore in the closet and need to ask Paul to get my shoes for me. Heck, I’m even having trouble getting in/out of the bathtub without Paul’s help. It's easier to justify the potentially physically straining cut-backs. There isn't much physically involved with this stuff, though. My job is not that hard; pre-natal yoga is not that hard. What’s hard is believing that I have to start cutting back on this easy stuff. What’s even more difficult is realizing that I still have 13 more weeks and I may have to dumb-down my activities even further. What does that leave me? A bunch of Oprah and web-surfing?

So, things are happening a lot faster than I expected. I need to create a paradigm shift in my thinking: It’s good that the babies are bigger for their age; it gives them an advantage. It’s good that I’m being forced to “let go”; it may be my last opportunity to “take care of me first” for the next 18-years. It’s good that I can’t do anymore household chores; Paul will get used to doing them for me (well, we know that won’t happen - that's a bit far-fetched, but perhaps I can get him used to a housecleaner??).

So, a Pregnant Woman Walks into a Hospital...

We get the good news Monday morning before we go off to work: our good friends Lisa & Cameron had their baby girl, Brynn, during the night! Mom and baby are fine and I am very anxious to go and see them.

I find parking across the street from the hospital and walk into the entrance to the information booth. Maternity is on the 3rd floor and the security guard there will tell me which room she's in. I find the elevators and easily find the security guard on the third level.

As I approach, he tells me, "You need to check in downstairs first." He adds some confusing instructions that sound nothing like I expected to hear and I stare back at him blankly. He points to my belly: "You're checking in to have your baby, right?" "No," I respond. "I'm just visiting Lisa Gallaway. I'm not due for another 13 weeks."

I laugh about it with Lisa after I get my "hall pass" and visit with her and her baby. Brynn looks tiny! She's 6 pounds, though and I marvel to think that mine will probably be tinier! Long fingers, but tiny palms, tiny lips and itsy-bitsy features. Perfectly beautiful.

Two-hours go by and I decide it's time to get to work. Walking past the nurses' station toward the elevator, I hear, "Looks like we'll see you back here any day!" A smiling nurse is changing the names on the dry-erase whiteboard. "For one thing," I'm thinking, "I'll be an entirely different city much less a different hospital. And for another,... (sigh!) never mind."

"You betcha!" is all the nurse hears.

So, Where Are you Registered?

My sister asked me to register for baby stuff. She wanted to start buying the twins things, which is really nice (what a good aunt-to-be!). I was reluctant since I thought it was so early. Truth be told - I'm really glad I did. Who knew that this was such a complicated project and would take so much time and learning?! Thankfully, there are people to help. How else could one figure out such things as nursing pads, breast pumps and the difference between a co-sleeper, bassinet, pack n' play, or crib and other ideas completely foreign to non-parents? And which is best for twins? So, after much deliberation and countless hours researching the finer points of crib mattresses, etc., I set up a "wish list" at a little place called Lullaby Lane (cute, huh?) in San Bruno. They have absolutely everything, are close enough for shopping and convenient enough for most friends whether they live near-by, near the phone, or just near the internet!

Lullaby Lane: 650-588-7644 (or 1-800-588-7644 for those out-of-town folks) Weblink: http://www.lullabylane.com/gift_registry/index.cfm

Mom and I got together and decided on pale yellow and off-white for the primary nursery colors. Bedding is so expensive, that she and I decide that we will try to make the bumpers ourselves. (Should prove interesting!) Mom is ready to start knitting blankets, and we start gathering a vision and momentum toward this vast project. With so many helpful friends who have already had babies, we have found the need for clothes is not as dire as other baby gifts. However, even I find it difficult to resist all the cute little oneies, socks and dresses they have in the stores!

Week 23 - Passing the Torch

The Cook Twins - 75th birthday

Remember these cute kids? Well, they were 73 years younger the last time I pointed them out. Still can't guess? Here's a little hint:
http://aboutourbabies.blogspot.com/2004/01/grandma-dearest.html

Yep, it's my Grandma Betty (on the left) again and her twin sister, Louise (on the right). The both of them are pictured above on their 75th birthday. You may remember that we lost Grandma Betty a little over a year ago, just short of her 90th birthday. Her twin, Louise, my great aunt, who never really left the East Coast, we learned just yesterday from her son Carl, passed similarly to Grandma in her sleep on Saturday, just short of her 91st birthday.

Louise and Betty were born together, in lieu of an incubator, they shared the warmth of the kitchen oven (no, really!), they celebrated birthdays together, grew up together, went to school together, lost their husbands the same year, learned to become widows together, vacationed together, and died almost within a year of each other. I'm sure that they right now are looking down on us together.

The loss of Louise feels like the closing of the chapter of the Cook twins and fortifies my determination to give them some sort of honor and recognition. When I first learned Paul and I were to expect twins, I automatically thought to name them in some way that would draw a similarity or parallel to my Grandma and the whole twin phenomenon. I feel even stronger about it now.

If we had a boy, I wanted to name him "Gianni [pronounced "Johnny"] Truesdale" (Truesdale was the maiden name of the twins' mother, Dora, as well as my Grandma's middle name). My first pick for a girl name: "Bettina Louise." Now that they are both girls, I want to name the younger one "Bettina Louise" as my Grandma, whose birth name was Bettina, was the younger between her sister and she.

My Grandfather also had a sister Louise and probably to honor both of their sisters, my mother, their only daughter, was given the middle name "Louise." Paul's not fond of "Bettina" (come to think of it, he's not fond of any of my names), but likes "Tina." I think I'm going to stick to my guns on this because the thought remains steadfast.

My heart goes out to Carl and his family in the loss of their mom. It was hard to get accostomed to living without Grandma Betty, even knowing that her last years weren't her best and comfort was easier found for her with her passing. I'd like to see this series of events lead to a positive in the passing of the torch between twins - one set newly lost and another on the cusp of new life. I hope in my girls, the Cook twins can be remembered and hope that they share much of the closeness that Louise and Betty did.

Week 22 - 3 Times in the Course of An Evening

Week 22

So, I get in the elevator on my way home from work on Monday, and about 3 floors down, it stopped to pick up 3 ladies also heading home. They must work together as they're giggling and chatting as they get in. The doors close and one of them turns around and with a big excited face exclaims, "Oh, my gosh! How many days until you're due?"

"Days," I think. Oh, this is going to be funny!! I quickly do the math and, oh, so matter-of-factly answer, "One hundred nineteen...Seventeen more weeks to go." I'm pleased at her perplexed look and the sudden quiet in the elevator. But, feeling a little evil, and not wanting to make it too awkward, I also add, "They are twins, though, so they don't leave me much room." Relief sets in and they are all the sudden busy with all sorts of questions. The elevator sounds like a hen house until we finally reach the bottom floor where we all get out.

It's raining outside, and I walk to the BART station amid a sea of opened umbrellas. The BART station is especially full today and there is hardly any room left on the platform on which to wait. My train approaches next, and I'm not even sure I'm going to make it on as there are so many in the already crowded train, and I'm sure I'm not going to get a seat. I feel fortunate that I'm one of the last to make it in the car and can find at least something study to hold on to. I figure things might open up by Oakland City Center and get ready to ride the 10 minutes or so standing up. A young lady sitting near me immediately offers me her seat. However, she has a giant box of flowers 3 feet tall (it's Valentine's Day) to manage, so I decline knowing what a mess I'd be putting her in. Two other people - men unencumbered by flowers - instantly pop up and I realize that I must look pretty bad off. (I take the seat anyhow!)

Mom picks me up. We are going to a birthday gathering over dinner and dessert. A bunch of my mom's friends and the local daughters of the 2 birthday girls (I'm one of the daughters and my friend Lisa, who is also expecting, is the other) along with their husbands. Lisa is 13 weeks further along that I am and is on required bed rest as she has signs of pre-term labor. She's hoping to make it at least another week to 36 weeks. She and I practically grew up together and are like best friends. Although I talk to her on the phone a number of times a week, I haven't seen her for at least a month, so I sit down on the couch where she's reclined to catch up. She soon points out that we are the same size, even though she is set to give birth in a number of days and I have 3 months to go. OK, that's 3 times in under 2 hours. I'm suddenly very self-aware and decide that it may be time for another visual for the scrapbook.

3-D Sonogram - Week 21

Week 21 - Baby A

The ultrasound technicians must say the same thing to every set of parents: “Oh, what a beautiful baby,”… “She is so photogenic!”… “Perfect kidneys”… “They are the cutest twins – so perfectly matched!”… “An A+ visit today!” This is our 5th time seeing our babies on the screen, and I think we always bought the lines and subconsciously puffed up in pride and optimism at the complements. Today, however, our view was a little different. We think they’re nuts!

Today, the sonogram technician “flipped a switch” that we’ve never seen before: the newest technology in ultrasounds - so new in fact that CPMC is the only hospital in San Francisco to have it – 3-D pictures. We went from seeing the flat fuzzy linear etchings of shape (which we were used to interpreting) to all the sudden seeing contours, shadow, depth and dimension. It’s fascinating to see the details, but the lines about our babies being so “photogenic” and “beautiful” are no longer convincing. See for yourself…

OK – so they look like burn victims. It’s alright to think it – we think so, too. We understand where horror-film directors and make-up artists get their inspiration. They have gone though this too! They are still a bit ribby in someplaces and a bit bumpy in others, but they are half-baked and the images are based on sound waves, which can have some interference… They do have sweet faces – closed little eyes like they are sleeping and sweet little lips and a nose. I can make out the right hand on which she is sleeping, but what’s that other thing? A claw or an umbilical cord? I hope it’s not an arm!

We left the office laughing and unsure if we should share these photographs with others lest they think that we create monsters rather than babies. People at my work who asked to see, even after the disclaimer I gave, were rather quiet and brief – they didn’t study them as long as they had previous photos that used the old technology. I don’t know – you decide: is the 3-D a better way to view a baby or does it just scare us a bit more?

The good news, everything is still doing great. The babies are a total match, exactly the same weight: 441 grams (about a pound) each, which the technician says is a first in her 14-year experience. Their length is no longer easily measured by the ultrasound as they don’t fit in one frame anymore, but the book we have says they are about 7.5 inches from the top of their head to their bum (legs are extra). I’ve gained 33 pounds now and would like to start shopping for some flat shoes. I thought that I’d wait since I was convinced that my feet would spread soon and thus change the size, but it hasn’t happened yet, and my doctor has questioned the short-heeled mules that I have been using.

It’s taken 21 weeks for them to grow from nothing to a pound. In the next 4 weeks, they should grow another pound, thus doubling their weight. I can only imagine what that’s going to do to my belly, back and ribs! Guess I should start filling out my disability paperwork so I can start a reduced work day and not have to hold their weight all the time. It will be an interesting 4 weeks.

My Little Hawaiian Flower

I still have mixed emotions and a little trepidation about going to a sonogram appointment; it is a serious love-hate relationship. The very first thing I do once that receiver hits my gooey belly is scan the monitor for that one-important, life-giving organ - the heart - to ensure it is still active and beating. I am always relieved to see it moving in its strange 4-sectioned rhythm, and it helps me to relax and focus instead at the other beautiful details of light and dark images on the sonogram screen. This is all because of the memory of my little lost flower.

Last year, Paul and I traveled to Maui, Hawaii for a very important event - my sister's wedding. While there, we enjoyed all sorts of other island activities, among them, snorkeling at a locals' spot, called Three Graves, where I realized a transcendental moment gliding side-by-side gentle sea turtles, following them as long as my breath allowed. The next day, adorned with local island plumeria flowers (a Maui icon), and surrounded by all our family, I stood by my sister's side and witnessed a phenomenally beautiful wedding. Her wedding day, May 29th, which also happens to be my dad's birthday, also happened to be the day Paul and I saw our "stick turn pink," indicating we were pregnant. Our trip to Hawaii suddenly meant much more after that pink stick and practically everything held deeper meaning.

We were ecstatic for weeks. I bought several books, shared with friends and family, and bought a secret momento - a gold ring in typical Hawaiian style adorned with a central plumeria flower and surrounded by 2 sea turtles. I wore the ring every day and looked forward to meeting my baby. Six weeks later, at our first sonogram, instead of the anticipated joy, we learned the terrible news that the baby had no heartbeat and had died two weeks prior. The shock couldn't hold the steady weeping that happened over the next hours, days and weeks, which permanently changed the way Paul and I live our lives.

The day after the bad news, I went to the hospital for the D&C (minor surgery to remove the baby’s carcass from my uterus). As part of the surgical preparation, I had to remove all my jewelry. Opposite of my wedding ring I still wore the plumeria ring that celebrated the inception of the baby that no longer exists. “What should I do with it now?” I contemplated. Do I throw it away? Though the urge was real, I instead tucked it away in a compartment in my purse that I was unlikely to visit. After a pensive moment, I took a deep breath and followed the nurse down the hall to the procedure room.

They say that twins know they are connected very early in the womb - even before they are big enough to interface physically with one other. They have done studies of children born out of what they call a “vanishing twin” scenario (when one twin dies very early – before week 10 – and is absorbed back into the uterus, thus appearing to have vanished rather than mis-carried) and find that the surviving child goes through real feelings of loneliness and need for companionship as they age, as if they were missing or searching for someone. For that reason, twin books encourage parents of surviving twins to acknowledge and celebrate their “vanished” sibling as if they were an important and meaningful member of the family.

I wonder if our twins have any “knowledge” of the one that came before them; if they will find a kinship of sorts knowing that not all their parents' babies are here. I know that Paul and I feel it, even though we may not discuss it as much as we did before our second pregnancy. For this reason, I have decided to revisit that section of my purse where I left “my little Hawaiian flower,” take it out, and add it to my jewelry box along with all the other treasures and family heirlooms stored there. And, as I do, I look with irony – or perhaps foreshadowing – to notice and remember that on either side of the flower is a sea turtle - my Hawaiian flower and twin turtles. Perhaps there is already a bond.

Another aside – my father has hopes that his first grandchildren, the twins, will be born on his birthday, May 29th. This is of course very possible as they will be in their 37th week at that point, at full term, and ready to live in the world. The irony in that possibility is also odd – remember, not only is that the same day as my sister's wedding, it was also the day we discovered our first baby, our little Hawaiian Flower.

Rose Petal Caresses - Week 20

Some people describe it as butterflies, some as "the squirmies," a bubble bursting or gas movement. It is something that I've been consciously anticipating for 4 weeks now, even though some women don't feel it for 2 more weeks. There are so many ways that these first movements, the "quickening," are described, that it's hard to envision what to expect. A roller coaster ride? An adrenaline rush? For me, however, a totally different analogy came to mind.

Last night, after finally struggling to find a semi-comfortable sleeping position, I settled down, lain on my side, with Paul cuddling close behind. In my ready-for-sleep daze, I felt what I first thought was Paul affectionately stroking my belly with something soft. After focusing on the sensation, I realized it wasn't Paul. "Could it be a baby?" I thought. I moved the body pillow away from my belly and waited to see if the feeling was still there. Soft little petals continued to stroke the inside of my upper abdomen and I whispered to Paul, "I think I can feel her... it's Baby "B" (which refers to the one on top)." "Really? What does it feel like?" "Rose petals... rose petal caresses." I take his finger to show him where I'm feeling it.

Newly awake and still unsure if the feelings were imagined or real, I am now very focused on any sensation. I wait in silence for about 5 minutes and then all the sudden, a tadpole, much lower down, changes direction and leaves a wake of fluttered movement and I'm sure now that we got our first "good night" wishes from both Baby A and Baby B.

They hold their silence no longer. Throughout the day today at work I could feel them like little muscle twitches, although it was more difficult to figure out which one was creating them. Perhaps they were together, making a game of it.

No wonder there are so many different ways used to describe the first movements - they are all so different from each other. There can be rose petals first, followed by swimming and stirring, little muscle twitches, and gas bubbles all next to each other. It is a very reassuring feeling, although I know that in the months to come I will wish they would quiet down. Right now, it's fun and energizing and I am amazed with the variety of sensations I feel. Each movement makes me smile with awe and wonder.

Support in Numbers - Mothers of Twins Club

Yesterday, I attended my first meeting for a local chapter of the Mothers of Twins Club. Besides their monthly meeting for all members, they have bi-monthly informal meetings for new and expectant parents of twins. This meeting happens to be in the middle of the day, so I took some time off of work to see what it was all about.

There were 10 women and a dad in attendance - 2 of us were expectant mothers and the rest were new moms/dads. The gal sitting next to me was the other expectant mom and was scheduled for her C-section in 5 days. She is a small-sized woman and I almost gasp in horror and anticipated discomfort to see how big she is. She is more square than round and I am sure that her ribs are expanded near the breaking point. There isn't an inch in her torso that isn't used by her babies. I silently wonder if my longer back might help me, should I be as lucky to go to term. All but one mom gave birth at California Pacific Medical Center, the same hospital we are planning to use, and they absolutely rave about it. One of my questions to the group was how many actually made it to term (37 weeks) and how many needed the C-section. Most fell under the 37 weeks, but the earliest was only 35 weeks - not too scary. All but 2 women had C-sections, although the moderator assured me that the statistic was really more like half. Other questions brought up were lactation and feeding questions, how much help to accept questions, horror stories about well-meaning, but un-educated advise or demands of non-twin or non-moms, advise on scheduling, sleeping, and helpful gagets that are "have-to"s with twins.

The truly valuable part to me at this point, however, was just sitting there for 2 hours and watching 8 sets of twins and their moms be happy, content and productive. The proof that even after 4 weeks, mothers with twins can have a "normal" life - get out of the house, visit with people and still get changed, fed, and have all their other needs met. It will take a lot more observation and sharing of ideas and schedules (time management and scheduling are the core of success, it seems), and I look forward to spending more time in groups like this with women who are already in the trenches. Although all moms have admitted to crying everyday for the first couple of weeks, there does seem to be hope that this might just be workable without a full-blown emotional breakdown.

Week 18 - And she's getting larger...

Trying the old ski pants on in Tahoe at 18 weeks.

For the long weekend, Paul and I traveled up to Tahoe with his sisters, their families, and their cousin Christine and her family. Before we left, I was told by the doctor to stay out of aerobic activities through the 3-day altitude acclimation process. So, no snowshoeing or cross-country skiing, but it left all sorts of time for snowman building and taking the kids sledding. The funny part, which deserved a picture itself, was trying to put on the old ski pants so that I could stay dry. I've grown so much, that I needed to take out the plastic string from a kitchen garbage liner and use it to try to close the pants. It worked for a while, although it did break once as I got up out of the snow! The babies' weight now requires that I sleep on my side at night - sleeping on my back will now restrict the bloodflow that runs down my spine to the babies. Sleeping is starting to get tough and I really feel that a body pillow will become increasingly necessary.

The Sonogram - Week 17

A profile look at "Twin A" at 17 weeks.

Today we met with the genetic councilors who told us everything that "could" go wrong with our babies. All sorts of rare and common genetic and chromosomal abnormalities that may or may not affect our babies. At one point, it was so overwhelming, the blood drained from my face and my hearing became distorted, like I was underwater. Comically, when the aware councilor told me to put my head between my knees to regain myself, I had to tell her that I couldn't reach my knees!

But, after a glass of water, and decisions not to have the amnio, we were walked down the hall for the amazing photo session with our babies. Both of them, thankfully, appeared fine. Each had 4 healthy-sized chambers to their heart, 5 fingers, 5 toes, a nice spine, and all the blood supply that they needed. Baby "A" (pictured), who sat lower in my abdomen, was a little bit smaller (10.1 cm compared to 11.8 cm) than the other, but both their heart beats were strong at 145/bpm. Baby "B" turned and looked at the camera during her cameo. One would think that it would be a cute picture to publish, but honestly, she looks more like a Led Zepplin skull than a baby!

That leads to the other important news: Paul and I learned that we were to expect not just one, but two baby girls in June. Now comes the hard part... agreeing on names.

The Countdown - How many weeks are you?

The Curlettos are expecting twins!! We are:

Well, this "nifty" calendar counter relies on a 40-week pregnancy (which would put me at June 19th, Father's Day). My doctor uses a 37-week calendar for twins, so really they are due about 20-days earlier: sometime late May, if we're lucky. Still hard to tell at this point. Nonetheless, this countdown will help you keep automatic track of where we are in the whole grand scheme of things.

The "Honeymoon" Period

Week 15

Just before Christmas, my 10 weeks of pretty bad morning sickness finally started to subside. Just in enough time for holiday food and to host Christmas Dinner without wretching over the smells. For about a month, I had energy, felt great, and gave Paul reprieve from making me breakfast in bed. After about week 18, I started getting uncomfortable again - this time with backaches, stretching abdominal ligaments, and shortness of breathing room.