They decided not to force her to take the medication once they figured out that she didn't want to take it anymore. Phone calls went out: "Grandma's coming home. Come when you can - she's not expected to make it past the weekend."So, family began to gather, filling up her and my Aunt's bedrooms as well as the neigboring hotel. Food was brought over from members of the church congregation. We took turns holding her hand, reading to her from the Bible, checking her meds and comfort level. Three or four of us would help turn her every couple of hours to help her skin stay intact. We learned how to bath her, style her hair, and move her, strategically propping her pillows to avoid pressure points. We journaled anything pertainant so we could all participate in her care. Grandma was surrounded by familiar things, smells and noises. Calming recordings of her church choir ran softly from a CD player in her room as well as the filtered noise of the televised football games the guys were watching. Things are relaxed and "normal." The visiting nurse came to check on her. After watching us, she looked approvingly at us and said, "This is how it should be." Everyone participating, loving and protecting Grandma's dignity. Her comment made me cry as I realize just how beautiful this all is.
Saturday afternoon, there was a marked progression, so we gathered in the family room where she was placed and sung hymns for nearly 2-hours. We whispered in her ear and allowed others to say last words via a cell phone to her ear. She'd acknowledge with a slight lift of the hand or facial twitch. Her breathing was much labored now.
We were assisted in the evening by Anita, a nursing assistant I liken to a doula for death. Extremely compassionate and educational, she'd prepare us for and teach us to recognize the next stage. When Grandma's last moments came, she awakened those not already with her. It wasn't 15 minutes after she woke me up that Grandma passed. Surrounded by children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and filled with the hope and promise of joining God and her high school sweetheart and husband of over 63 years, she made a peaceful and graceful transition into the Kingdom of Heaven. Grandma passed this morning at 4:55am. That nurse was right: This is how it should be. If only everyone had the same blessed opportunity.
