Mommy and the Terrible, Horrible, No good, Very Bad Weekend

Alexander had it easy. His day only lasted a day.

Mine started Friday after I packed up all the things for the Twin Valley Mothers of Twins Consignment Sale and the girls into the minivan bound for Grandma's house. We were in a rush... I still needed to tag all the toys at Grandma's house that the girls have outgrown/ignored as well as feed them and have them ready for a nap by 12:30pm. Cruising at 65mph, I all the sudden heard a "POP!" As the minivan started to float a little, I heard a different sound like I was driving on the outside of the lane - the sound that's intended to wake up drivers who may be sleepy and wandered off the road a bit. "I bet I've got a flat," I think, merging right while neither using the brake or the accelerator. "Great!" I'm only a mile and a half to Grandma's, but with two kids - feisty ones at that - in the car with me, walking to the nearest exit - less than 1 mile - isn't an option in my book.

Thank goodness for cell phones! I call my husband first, who is unfortunately in a meeting for the next 3 hours and won't hear my pleas. I call Grandma next who is supposed to be at a class rather than her house. Cell phone's off. Already in class. Hummm... Insurance agent (Paul had me cancel AAA since the roadside assistance was cheaper through our car insurance) is next....apparently I'm not covered....Paul told them to cancel it since I had AAA. Miscommunication #1,452. Nearer to tears, they assure me they'll send someone out for an additional $50. A bargain. I'm told to wait an hour. I'm no woozy, but it's really scary being on the side of the road --- each time a big car or truck comes by, it shakes the whole car. I pray that they girls don't find it intimidating.

Time passes - thank goodness I packed a lunch for these two. They are relatively calm and finally, 15 minutes late, help arrives. I look in my rear-view mirror and know that doom is short-coming. It's not a tow-truck. It's a locksmith who does tire changes on the side. He tells me to open the middle trap door so he can get my spare out. I know it's not there - that's where we store extra toys and my Ergo carrier. After looking for 10 minutes, my help tells me that I have no spare and that he can't help me. I sense stupidity in his face and I scan the owner's manual to prove him wrong. However, they don't tell me where to find the spare, just that it's there and how to change it. The girls are starting to act up. Every time I leave the car, they panic and scream. We've been on the side of the freeway now for 2 hours. I'm pissed my "savior" is unqualified and I call my insurance hotline to tell them so. They will send out a proper tow truck, but it will take another hour. Unacceptable. A CHP car drives up behind me and quickly my locksmith guy is driving away. The CHP tell me 3 options: hitch a ride with them and abandon the car, they're call for a tow truck will come within 15-minutes (and will cost an arm and a leg), or they will follow me low-speed to the exit and ensure I'm safe. Screw the alloy rim -- it will cost as much as the tow truck anyways! I am flustered and an emotional mess for the rest of the night. Yuck! However, lessons learned: 1) the spare is in the back side-compartment, shaped like a wheel, on the drivers' side. Had my van not been full of stuff for the sale, I may have seen it in my rear-view mirror. 2) always check your insurance policy for coverage even though someone says they've already done it.

Saturday: Paul leaves to work saying he'll be home early so that we can go to this wedding. "Good," I answer. "I need to take a shower before we go." Girls wake up on the wrong side of the bed and I load the screaming pair into the car after breakfast to pick up Paul's pants from the tailor. The challenging part is that I have to get there using backroads as you're not supposed to travel more than 50 mph with a spare. I don't know these backroads of inner-Oakland, but actually navigate them relatively well even though there are some tough neighborhoods. I get there and they don't have Paul's pants. Could it be that he actually remembered to pick them up himself? Nah - look again, please. I realize I left my cell phone at home and go home empty handed after their second and third look. Now I realize I'm going to be late getting back for my very important date with the shower!! But, as I come home, I find Paul not there, but his pants in the closet. I wait 2-more hours with still-cranky kids who won't let me put them down without crying. I'm stuck on the sofa one on each knee. One-half hour before we need to leave, Paul comes in late for his own shower. I throw on a dress, fuming that I don't have the time to clean the kids' snot out of my hair or eat something myself.

Sunday: Bettina's been up since 11:30 last night. She can't sleep and won't let me either. Finally at 4:30am, she starts to drift off. Ava wakes up, I enter and see that she's covered in puke. I change her sheets and draw a bath and clean both kids when Tina wakes. I think I know why Ava got sick - I'm starting to feel it too and it explains why everyone was in such a foul mood yesterday. With all these distractions, there's no time for church. Neither is there food or milk in the fridge, so I put the kids in the car again and drudge out to the store. I have to start the laundry before we go otherwise Ava will have nothing to sleep on or with (both "moos" got hit with puke). They're both shrieking by the time we get back and I throw on the clean sheets and put the kids on top of them. "Night-night," I say, looking heaven-bound, praying they will sleep even though it's an hour before their regular nap time. It's quiet. I head for my own bed after putting in earplugs (just in case) and we all sleep for 3 hours. I just have to endure 4 more hours of "playtime" with a bad headache, a stomach that is about ready to hurl and a sore throat until I get to put the kids in bed again. I watch with contempt as my husband comes in to shower and then out again, after asking if I'm feeling OK and hearing "no", so he can watch the basketball playoffs in a box seat with free food and beer. Can you tell I'm still fuming?

Well, that's my rant. Mommy and her Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad weekend. Lord be praised that tomorrow is Monday and blessed Rocio will be here at 9am. All I'll have to worry about for 5-hours is myself and my work.

23 Months

I was just reviewing the last couple of months and found this entry about the girls' vocabulary 5 months ago. Wow! A lot has changed since then! Back then, they could say 25 words. I made a list the other day and stopped when I got to 200!! I also stopped counting animal noises as words as well (the list is obviously too long to list here, but I've kept an electronic copy as a keep-sake). They have also added to their sign language vocabulary as well; they've outgrown what I know. I contemplated going to Barnes and Noble to buy a sign language picture dictionary so all of us could learn more. Ava in particular is more interested in it than Bettina. Waffling on the "why now that they can talk" argument, I've found there still is some use for it as sometimes a number of words, especially if I'm not right next to them, sound similar in their not-yet-precise diction. Often, when I can't make out what they're saying, they will also sign the word and I understand immediately. It helps a lot.

Butterfly Town, USA

Last year, we went to Sea Ranch. This year, our all-women's retreat (Grandma, my sister Ainsley, my girls and me) was at Asilomar in Pacific Grove (aka Butterfly Town, USA for their flocks of migrating monarchs). We had a fantastic time, visiting the monarch butterflies, the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and the ocean.

The girls are picking up so many words, now... just over the weekend, Ava added squirrel, blue jay, waves, ocean, otter, and jellyfish, among others. While being approached by some pretty aggressive begging-squirrels on 17-Mile Drive, Ava, after finding that just backing away wouldn't deter the fiesty squirrel, shook her finger and said, "Out, squirrel!"

The girls were very excited to see all the waterlife at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Word to the wise: they have a 2-day pass that can be purchased from hotels for the same price as a normal ticket at the door. Not only do you get twice the opportunity to visit, but you can beat the line at the counter and walk right in. Tickets are now $25/per person. Kids under 3 are free!

We rented the Director's Cottage, one of the cottages on the Asilomar property. It, like many of the buildings here, was designed and built by the infamous Julia Morgan. Asilomar was the stereo-typical UC Berkeley brain-child. Crunchy, functional, and geared toward connecting with nature. The rooms, on top of it, are very reasonably priced! We enjoyed it so much, we looked into having a Dent reunion and at least another all-women's retreat here sometime next year. Leisure guests (most rooms are occupied by various groups and conferences) can make reservations 6-months in advance. You have to be in-the-know to get a cottage. They don't do reservations for them online; you need to call and ask.

All the groovey photographs of the whole 3-day trip can be seen here.

Home Updates

Hurray! Look at the front of our house!!

It looks finished - the scaffolding's gone, the plywood's gone from the windows, it's painted, new windows installed, the gargage floor is poured and, hey, a new low-profile carriage-style garage door is attached.

Inside, we're still down to studs. Paul's passed the electrical rough inspection and still working on the plumbing. We need to install the water heater, HVAC, floors and handrails on the stairs, pass the plumbing inspection, and hang and tape the 150+ sheets of sheetrock before we move in, but it should start moving faster, especially since we're hiring a sheetrocker and a floor guy.

After we move in, there will still be a lot of work to do: finishing the 2 new bathrooms, building the stairs outside between the decks and putting the balcony railings, painting the interior. Plus other things that I'm sure aren't even on my radar yet but will surely rear their heads.

Family Reunion

We had a really nice opportunity to celebrate lots with my mom's family this weekend: birthdays, pregnancies and impending births. Lots of food and sets of little footsteps abound. The fun photos can be found here. It was particularly special because my cousin Jonathan and his wife Emily flew in from Norfolk, VA with their daughter. Emily's also one of the expecting. It's rare we get to see them because Jon's work schedule is so demanding and his time off so last-minute (he's a pilot in the Navy).

While chit-chatting, we discovered the new news that Jonathan will be deployed for Behrain, near Iraq, in July. It's only a 3-month tour, they say, and I'm hoping it stays that way. Otherwise he will miss the birth of his second child in October.

Jon is piloting a *bus* of sorts called the C-2 Greyhound. He's with the Det 4,VRC 40 Rawhides (this is like reading Greek for me right now - don't understand most of it, but hope to become fluent by July, with the help of his wife Emily). He ferries supplies back and forth from the main land to the carriers. Although he'll be stationed on the USS Enterprise, as I understand it, most of his time will be spent away from the ship since his plane is way too large for them to want to keep it there. He graduated near the top of his class and thus had many choices as to which type of plane he wanted to fly. I'm proud to say that he put his testosterone-dreams of flying fighter jets aside for an "out-of-the-way", less hazardous assignments and shorter deployments, knowing he wanted to be a family man and to be there for his family. Serving his country and still able to look beyond personal dreams - that's a real man for you.

Anyhow, my uncle Dave, Jon's dad, just sent out this YouTube video to all of us (he's the biggest Navy cheerleader you can find). It is not of Jon's bragade; but they are currently out there doing what Jon will be doing from July to October. It can give you an idea of what he'll be doing out there - besides making YouTube videos :-)

Diaper Discipline

It's too bad that the microphone on our video machine is on the back and not close enough to pick up Ava's conversation.

So, Daddy comes home and in an attempt be helpful, starts to change Bettina's diaper to get her ready for bed. Bettina, however, is slow to acknowledge Daddy as an authority and refuses to allow the new diaper to be put on. He tells her to come over here to put on the diaper and she giggles and runs away, evading his every request. They continue this 'game' of sorts until Mommy comes in from cooking Daddy's dinner trying to figure out what's so complicated with this process.

Ava decides that she's going to straighten out the whole process. She grabs a diaper, unfolds in on the ground and demands, "Be-tti-na, sit! Be-tti-na, sit here." It works and Bettina sits very easily next to Ava until she realizes that the next step involves wearing a diaper. Then she takes off again.

Quick on her feet, Ava attempts to tempt her back with the extra reward of getting some diaper medicine (for some reason, 'medicine' makes everything more appealing in this house).

Bettina is also manipulative and a quick thinker... she reaches for a toy which makes music and very soon, Ava is also distracted and dancing with her shoulders. Too cute!

Our Entry Into Fit Modeling

So, we got a call from one of the more well-known Talent Agencies in the area asking if I could bring the girls in. They believe the girls are the perfect sizes to become fit models. What is a fit model? Well, here in the Bay Area, we are home to many children's clothing companies (Gymboree, Janie and Jack, Gap, and Old Navy, to name a few). While these companies are designing their clothes, they want to see them on actual children before they are mass-produced. Is the brim of the hat too long - the kid can't see from under it; are the thumbs in mittens too small - the kid can't get their thumb in; etc., etc. You'd hate to find this was the case after purchasing something, wouldn't you? They're smart - they "baby-test" them before they market them. So, fit modeling has nothing to do with marketing or photographs; only production. If you're kid has the "right" measurements, they could become fit models, visit corporate headquarters, and get paid to try things on. They don't have to have stunning looks, just be very co-operative. Having a curious and easy-going personality, as well as being somewhat of a ham, works well in this niche.

So, in we went. Bettina had this by the horns. "You want me to stand here against the tape measure? No problem. You want to put a tape measure around my tummy? Whatever. Stick out my arms like an airplane? That's silly, but I'll humor you."
"She's a natural!" the talent agent says as Tina laughs and proceeds to sit in the stranger's lap playing with the tape measure. "She also has the perfect measurements for a Gymboree model."

Ava, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with that funny looking tape measure. "No!" she protested as she ran away from the agent and hid behind Mommy. That was the end of her fit-modeling career. At least for now.

We went the following day to Gymboree for a "Look/See" - basically, the client (Gymboree) wants to see the model in advance and make sure that the measurements, and the temperament, of the model is just right. Our agent wanted to give Ava one-last-try and said that she could go to the job (normally, siblings aren't allowed) to see if she'd warm up to the industry with a little experience.

The girls really enjoyed meeting our contact, Lilly, who's name the girls will always remember since they have a doll they adore (Lilly the Leapfrog doll) with the same name at home. With Ava in a backpack and thus out of the way, Bettina walked into the giant double glass doors of Gymboree Headquarters like she owned the place. Out the elevator she strode and followed Lilly into a room decorated like "Where the Wild Things Are." Lilly showed Tina what the real fitting would be like - got her familiar with the hats and gloves that needed testing and in turn, tested Bettina and her tolerance to trying on clothes. Not a one problem. "Well, we'll see you tomorrow for the real thing!"

Twenty-minutes later, we're getting back into the car and are signing a 2-year contract with the talent agency for Bettina to be a fit model. (Now, that's not to say that we'll be doing this that long, or working for this client for that long, but, the agency looks to find work for Bettina for that long. Should her size change so that she's no longer appropriate for fit modeling, if they can't find her work for over 3 months, or something else, we can agree to break the contract.)

Bettina's first day on the job:
It goes just like yesterday's rehearsal, only there is a full audience of designers and seamstresses talking about logistics and what/how they want to change, if anything at all. She tries on one hat and 4 sets of mittens. Bettina likes the hat (a little pumpkin beanie) so much, that she insists on wearing it the whole time. Even though they take it off her head, she walked over and put it on again. The mittens (2 of which just have to be Janie and Jack, they are so cute!) are a new concept for her and she doesn't understand that her thumb is supposed to go in the little pocket. She quickly learns (sort of) and they decide the bunny paws need shorter pile material, the raccoons need bigger thumbs, the bull dogs are perfect and the basic knit is good, too. Seventeen-minutes later, we're walking out the door and Bettina's nearly $90 richer.

Things to remember:
For now, I've learned that it's good to pack a couple key things when going to a fit model session. I think it's wise to bring a couple of their favorite toys. Sunglasses and books, for example. Bring a sippy cup, but make sure it's only water. Don't want to mess up the client's project with cranberry juice!! Bring extra diapers, wipes and diaper disposable bags. The one embarrassing thing that did happen is that Tina took a giant dump in the beginning of the session. I was glad to have the baby-powder scented disposal bags!

So, this is new ground for us and so far an interesting path with insight to a whole new industry. We'll see where this takes us and what sort of amusing and interesting stories it brings.