It all came together for me while sitting in a circle at a newly-formed book club that the local chapter of my college sorority organized. I'd always wanted to join a book club and, since this one allowed me to meet new people of a variety of ages and agreed to meet after my children went to sleep, I hunkered down and ordered the book 4 weeks in advance (and hoped I'd find the time to read between naps, etc.).
The book was "The Handmaid's Tale," one I'd read in college, but enjoyed enough for a re-read. Start the sorority book club off with a book on women's issues! The group was mostly younger women - women about 2-5 years out of school and maybe another one out perhaps a year or two later. I was, however, the oldest of the group, which didn't bother me much at all. I'm sort of used to it with all the volunteer work I do for the local collegiate chapter at UC Berkeley. It was among this group of young women and their irate comments about how dare this society act the way it does that I realized that I, too, had the same reaction when I read the novel some 15 years ago. And, after remembering that, I also realize that my way of thinking within that 15 years has deepened and matured to understand beyond the demand for "rights." With rights, comes responsibilities.
Moira is the only character that many of the women in this book club conversation could relate to. She's the extreme feminist that fights the system as much as she can, with very limited success, I might add. She is constantly demanding rights but never stands up to claim her responsibilities. People try to help her escape, and disappear or are killed in doing so. They help her because they feel a responsibility to do so. I never found it strange that Moira could not relate to her faceless helpers; it just proved my point that she didn't care to take on the responsibilities - she just wanted the rights.
Environmental issues, abortion and dating (the main topics of the book) have a much different meaning after you're established in a family or after you are no longer concerned that you'll "never meet the right guy." You always know the "right thing," but having those roots and allows you to clear up your moral vision and understand why those rights also require added responsibilities just too burdensome for a single, non-married person. Perhaps as we "grow up," we take our responsibilities more seriously and appreciate our rights a little bit more. As I make this point, a completely different tack than they'd read, in the small circle of women, I also see the parallel with immigration.
How is it that someone can demand rights without owning their fair part of responsibility? It's like a child who demands to have their chocolate-covered brownie before they eat their vegetables. My view is that people never grow up and accept their responsibilities if they are just given all their rights and bonuses up-front. Are illegal immigrants valuable people who provide valuable services? Absolutely, yes! However, unless we want a bunch of temper-tantrum children with chocolate-sauce smeared across their faces, they need to step up to the plate, take some responsible measures to become documented, learn English, and eat their vegetables! (just my 2-cents!)
