Off the Market

While driving in the car today, Daddy asked Ava if she'd heard anything about the ad she put out to sell her brother. "No," she answered.

"Do you still want to sell him?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "I'd miss his cute little face," she said, which makes Daddy burst with a smile and glance over at me.

"And, he's sort of funny and makes me laugh," she continued, looking over at him sitting next to her in his car seat.

So, I guess it's final: Baby Brother is off the market.

Wired for Faith

Here's a nice article sent to me by the Children's Minister at our church....poignant, I think:
By Jim Barringer on November 24, 2009 at 12:00 am
My pastor and his wife have a baby, Grace, who everyone agrees is the cutest baby ever born. Whenever she’s trying to walk, or pushing a ball, people can’t help but stare because she’s just so adorable. At Chili’s after church tonight, one of the teens was playing peekaboo with her. You know what peekaboo is like for kids; they think it’s the coolest thing in the world when the person reappears, and they never get bored of it.
That’s because children come into the world with no concept of object permanence, the idea that things continue to exist even when the child can’t see them. Child psychologist Jean Piaget did the groundbreaking work in this area, demonstrating that most children master this concept sometime in the second year of their lives. Prior to that, as far as they are concerned, nothing in the world exists if they’re not looking at it at that precise moment.
I personally think that sounds like a great premise for a horror story: a man lives in a world where things disappear forever if he stops looking at them. The fact that children don’t understand object permanence for the first two whole years of their lives fascinates and terrifies me. While I was busy writing the first draft of a short story in my head, my girlfriend asked, “Why do you think God allowed children to be born like that? Why is object permanence something he makes us learn?”
It’s a brilliant question, with an even more brilliant answer. Being born without object permanence means that, whether we’re conscious of it or not, almost the first thing we learn in our lives is that something can exist even if we don’t see it. Does that idea sound familiar to you? It’s the most crucial building block for having faith in God. Pretty much everything else that we do in the first two years of our life is instinct: crying when we’re hungry, when we’ve just soiled our diapers, when we want attention, when we don’t even know what’s wrong because we’re not used to these fickle bodies yet. All of that is instinct that is not learned or taught. But object permanence is, for most humans, the very first thing that they learn all on their own, and it opens the door to understanding the existence of God. Not only is it a vital physical lesson, it’s the foundation for the most important spiritual truth in the universe as well.
How very brilliant on God’s part that he has so engineered us that, even before we’re capable of articulating the thoughts, he is already guiding us toward knowledge of himself. It really is proof that he is condescending, in the good way – that he delights in descending to everyone’s level, that he is determined to make himself known to everyone on the planet, even those who are too young to understand that he is pursuing them. The very idea makes me worship him even more for his majesty, his subtlety, and the steadfast love he pours out on everyone, including two-year-olds who can’t possibly give anything back to him or even understand or respond to his love yet.
If there is any finer proof that humans were created to discover and worship God, I have yet to hear it.

If you can't beat them....

Housework with three kids around is a bit of a chore, no pun intended. Every time I put away the Tupperware back in the cabinet so I can vacuum the kitchen carpet, Alessandro opens the door and throws them all around again. Imagine trying to clean the hardwood floors, bent over on all fours, scrubbing the old avocado and juice stains off of the wood with a 17-month toddler tackling your mid-section and then climbing up to ride you bronco-style. I know he's probably just trying to get my attention so he can play with me, but with 5-minutes more, I know I can finish the whole room.....so I power through.
How's the saying go? If you can't beat them....
The next thing I know, I look over and there's Little Man on his hands and knees as well, bent over the hardwood floor with my kitchen towel instead of a rag, rubbing the wood and then dipping the towel into the soapy bucket like he's seeing his mommy do. I'm smiling ear-to-ear. What a little wonder! So, laughing and smiling, we clean the kitchen floor together - and I add the kitchen towels to the laundry when we're done!

Brother For Sale

Alessandro's been going through a rough phase...playing rough, that is. He's a hair-pulling, knee-tackling, eye-grabbing kind of guy right now. That's how he thinks he fits in. We're all having a hard time adjusting to it. The girls in particular were at the end of their rope this evening. Ava asked me if I could put Baby Brother in a box. "In a box? What do you mean?" I ask. "In a box downstairs with the other stuff you're going to sell at the Twins' Sale," she answers. "You want us to sell Baby Brother?" I ask. They both nod their heads... Let's go with this and see what come out of their little hearts. I get on the computer and take dictation:

Dear Buyer,
We have a baby to sell and his name is Alessandro. And we don't want to have him because he hits us and do everything else that we don't like and we really don't want him for us. We want another baby brother - a girl baby who will listen to our words to what we say to her. And we don't want to buy Alessandro to us, OK? We want to sell it to you. Alessandro hits a little bit and pulls your hair. It hurts us very, very, very much. And we don't like him. And he goes jumping on our back, pulls our dresses and hugs our knees. We want girl everything.

They're watching me type the email and Ava thinks of an idea. "Let's send this to Antonio [our nephew whose parents are expecting in May]. He wants a baby brother and not a baby sister. Maybe he'll take him." I'm sure Sylvia would, too!

Daddy asks, "But, aren't you going to miss him [Alessandro]?"
"Yeah," says Ava.
"Yeah says Bettina too!" Bettina adds.
But, they both give a look like, "So, when can he move out?"
Poor kids...too bad we love him too much to sell him to someone else.

Better Than a Shot in the Arm

It's the scare everyone is talking about...the local news, the morning talk show, Dr. Dean Edell and every mom at pre-school drop-off: H1N1
There's been so much controversy and panic over how everyone should handle the H1N1 flu season....especially since the vaccine is out late. And, I can't believe how many people, because it's late and not already incorporated into the seasonal flu shot, are scared of the H1N1 shot and think it's actually bad for them. Even my sister, who's an intensive care nurse, pregnant AND has a young child at home, planned on skipping the vaccine. I had to ask: "WHY?!" Well, she summarized, it's a new vaccine and hasn't been tested, so she can't trust it. She was going to get the seasonal shot, because she's been getting that one for years, and that was the extent of it. WHAT? Um, Ainsley....the flu shot, because it's customized every year to which strains they think will hit, is new every year! I know how to get to her, though....I know I'm not convincing...but someone else is: she listened to 2-days of Dr. Dean (which she can do while visiting down in the Bay Area) on the radio and she's converted. Anyone who doesn't get the shot, according to Dr. Dean, especially if you in any one of the high risk categories (my sister was in 3 of them!), should just die from it so the gene pool is that much better off.
Well, the next problem, after you wisely decide to get the shot (and have all your kids vaccinated as well), is to find a place that can give them -- has them actually in store. A few weeks ago, finding the vaccine was an every-day thread in Facebook friends and Mommy-groups communications. Who's got them? Where can you find them?
It was through one of the mom-groups that I learned the City of San Francisco had a large stock of vaccines that they were going to give away at a number of clinics. After following the link, I discover that there's one literally in our neighborhood and I jumped on the chance.
Armed with coloring books, snacks and a stroller to contain Baby Brother, we arrived an hour in advance of the clinic's opening. I was pleased that only about 40-people were in front of me. I was close enough, even, that the kids could run and play in the driveway where they wouldn't be too close to the traffic on the street. Within a half-hour, the line's to the end of the block. Kids run in all directions, women, heavily pregnant, sit in camping chairs that their husbands carried for them, infants sit or fuss in baby bjions or infant car seats. People are talking with each other and the parking lot takes on the feel of a family reunion only the kids were all strangers 45-minutes ago. The clinic ends up becoming a community event.
When the clinic opens, I'm surprised to see not one, but 5 Sheriffs working both in and out of the clinic, reading the rules (high risk people only) to ensure that people behave properly. I think of the other 8 clinics in San Francisco and wonder how many Sheriffs are working overtime so people can get their flu shot. I suppose, however, with all the anxious people worried about being left out, the City didn't want to chance a frenzy or panic. The poor sheriffs ended up being totally unneeded - once inside, they allowed non-children and non-preggers to get their shots, too. So, now, we're all vaccinated with our first round of H1N1. This was 3-weeks ago. Still, almost all my friends living in the East Bay have not been able to get the vaccine, even those with high-risk kids. Their doctors (including my pediatrician) still can't get their orders in. Our pediatrician isn't sure she'll even get some in be the time our second dose is needed. Crazy.
While we were waiting in line at the clinic, Ava, always apprehensive of owies, was still asking why she really needed to get a shot. I told her the shot would be easier to forget than being sick at home for at least a week. She said she thought she'd take her chances and just stay home from school sick, until I reminded her that she also would have to stay home from ballet and Tae Kwon Do and ballet/jazz. She wouldn't get to see her friends anywhere. After consideration, she decides to get the shot. At least it's good to know that she thinks her friends and regular activities are better than a shot in the arm!

Why is Every Kid Under 4 Afraid of Santa?

It surprises me every year...before we're thinking of what to cook for the big Thanksgiving meal, it's always a trip to see Santa! The stores are playing Christmas music and the malls getting the kids excited with Santas abound. We learned last minute about this Santa opportunity at a local nursery and gift store that's known for having the best Christmas displays and tree decorations -- been around since I was the kids' age. They serve hot apple cider (which to Baby Brother, doesn't taste nearly as good as plain apple juice) and home made mint brownies and cookies....HOME MADE (I think I ate about 5!). Each kid got to pick out one tree decoration and we took photos with Santa and put our name in a raffle. We left with lots of cute photos, some knowledge of how German hand-painted decorations are made, full bellies and a prize from the raffle! And I never win those things!
The girls are wearing their Japanese headbands - gifts brought back by Grandma's recent trip there. They have little kimonos that match, too! Alessandro's kimono comes with a matching headband, too -- samurai style.